three (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
threeplusfire) wrote2000-12-23 03:41 pm
threeplusfire) wrote2000-12-23 03:41 pm
Russian fables
We are so lucky here, and so often we can't even see it. The Washington Post has pictures of British soldiers playing Santa Claus for children in Serbia, and I just start crying at my computer. Seems like I've been doing that a lot lately. Always with these pictures of children.... maybe it is because I came so close to it. I don't know.
It's hard to reconcile yourself to living in a world where children are hurt, where they go hungry and live in fear. I can understand some of why P. left to do what he is doing. He doubts himself now, because even there the children sometimes fall through the net and keep hurting. P. can't see that even one act, even one life makes all the difference in the world. The beautiful and the painful all tied up in one. It does make a difference darling. Hang on.
In Dostoevsky's The Brothers Karamazov, there is a story Grushenka tells Alyosha when they meet. I'll write it here, for P. and everyone else. Page 352 of the Pevear & Volokhonsky translation.
"One upon a time there was a woman, and she was wicked as wicked could be, and she died. And not one good deed was left behind her. The devils took her and threw her into the lake of fire. And her guardian angel stood thinking: what good deed of hers can I remember to God? Then he remembered and said to God: once she pulled up an onion and gave it to a beggar woman. And God answered: now take that same onion, hold it out to her in the lake, let her take hold of it, and pull, and if you pull her out of the lake, she can go to paradise, but if the onion breaks, she can stay where she is. The angel ran to the woman and held out the onion to her: here, woman, he said, take hold of it and I'll pull. And he began pulling carefully, and had almost pulled her all the way out, when other sinners in the lake saw her being pulled out and all began holding onto her so as to be pulled out with her. But the woman was wicked as wicked could be, and she began to kick them with her feet: 'It's me who's getting pulled out, not you; its' my onion, not yours.' No sooner did she say it than the onion broke. And the woman fell back into the lake and is burning there to this day. And the angel wept and went away."
It's hard to reconcile yourself to living in a world where children are hurt, where they go hungry and live in fear. I can understand some of why P. left to do what he is doing. He doubts himself now, because even there the children sometimes fall through the net and keep hurting. P. can't see that even one act, even one life makes all the difference in the world. The beautiful and the painful all tied up in one. It does make a difference darling. Hang on.
In Dostoevsky's The Brothers Karamazov, there is a story Grushenka tells Alyosha when they meet. I'll write it here, for P. and everyone else. Page 352 of the Pevear & Volokhonsky translation.
"One upon a time there was a woman, and she was wicked as wicked could be, and she died. And not one good deed was left behind her. The devils took her and threw her into the lake of fire. And her guardian angel stood thinking: what good deed of hers can I remember to God? Then he remembered and said to God: once she pulled up an onion and gave it to a beggar woman. And God answered: now take that same onion, hold it out to her in the lake, let her take hold of it, and pull, and if you pull her out of the lake, she can go to paradise, but if the onion breaks, she can stay where she is. The angel ran to the woman and held out the onion to her: here, woman, he said, take hold of it and I'll pull. And he began pulling carefully, and had almost pulled her all the way out, when other sinners in the lake saw her being pulled out and all began holding onto her so as to be pulled out with her. But the woman was wicked as wicked could be, and she began to kick them with her feet: 'It's me who's getting pulled out, not you; its' my onion, not yours.' No sooner did she say it than the onion broke. And the woman fell back into the lake and is burning there to this day. And the angel wept and went away."
New Jersey Fables
And that was on my first shift this evening. Some people would be asleep ASAP after a fifteen hour shift, but I'll have to go to mass before I could sleep after tonight...