closets, belongings, boxes
Jul. 16th, 2006 11:07 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
threeplusfireI've spent the past hour and a half cleaning out my closet, then trying to fix the mess I made of my room by putting the closet in order. For the record I own thirteen pairs of Wearable Sculpture earrings, one ring, three necklaces, one bracelet, eight pendants and one copper wrapped bead. A glittering beginning of what promises to eventually take over my entire bedroom table. I put open all the doors to try and air things out, but it was too hot already to leave them open for long. It's strange to see that it's such a small amount now. But I look at the couple hundred books I have piled haphazardly on my shelves, and it doesn't seem so small anymore. I have pictures I need to frame, and hang up. There's a whole box of DVDs sitting in the living room.
Anyways, I cleaned some more and threw out useless papers, expired things, trash, scribbles that I couldn't even remember. I started to cry when I found postcards Dae sent before my wedding. Landmines in everything. Cleaning out the closet is interesting. It feels like paring down my life, layer by layer. When I left Alan, I left things behind ultimately. Some things mattered, some of them didn't. Some of them I probably kept for a very long time without ever thinking why. I've had a lot of nightmares recently, about going back into that apartment and desperate searching for something I've forgotten, something I can't bear to leave behind. It's a little funny to think I once occupied an apartment and had enough things to fill every room and every closet. I own five pieces of furniture these days, just enough to fill my bedroom. I have four boxes in my closet, two of which are filled with all the sutffed animals I can't make myself let go. Yes, stuffed animals. Hah! But I do, and what I really miss is the stuffed dinosaur that I got for Christmas one year that had different colored legs because I think one of the dogs chewed on him before he made it to me.
Right now I need to shower away the sweat and dust. Then I should probably leave the house for awhile. The weirdest thing about cleaning the closet was finding four decks of cards, some of them unopened.
Anyways, I cleaned some more and threw out useless papers, expired things, trash, scribbles that I couldn't even remember. I started to cry when I found postcards Dae sent before my wedding. Landmines in everything. Cleaning out the closet is interesting. It feels like paring down my life, layer by layer. When I left Alan, I left things behind ultimately. Some things mattered, some of them didn't. Some of them I probably kept for a very long time without ever thinking why. I've had a lot of nightmares recently, about going back into that apartment and desperate searching for something I've forgotten, something I can't bear to leave behind. It's a little funny to think I once occupied an apartment and had enough things to fill every room and every closet. I own five pieces of furniture these days, just enough to fill my bedroom. I have four boxes in my closet, two of which are filled with all the sutffed animals I can't make myself let go. Yes, stuffed animals. Hah! But I do, and what I really miss is the stuffed dinosaur that I got for Christmas one year that had different colored legs because I think one of the dogs chewed on him before he made it to me.
Right now I need to shower away the sweat and dust. Then I should probably leave the house for awhile. The weirdest thing about cleaning the closet was finding four decks of cards, some of them unopened.