three (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
threeplusfire) wrote2001-09-17 08:56 am
threeplusfire) wrote2001-09-17 08:56 am
(no subject)
No access for days and it probably doesn't make me any more able to function.
Went to the UT Memorial Service Friday, and for the first time since this happened I cried. I cried so hard I could not get up off my knees by the flagpole. A photographer and some students demonstrating for peace helped me up and away, and for that kindness I will always be grateful.
Even though I have finally started letting myself feel, even though I know my loved ones and my friends are safe, the world feels wrong. I'm cutting class right now, to sit and stare at this screen. I can't concentrate on school or work. The numbness segues into depression each day.
Suzanne's birthday was yesterday and I forgot to call, and I'm sure I'm missing things everywhere. I'm sorry.
Someone tried to burn down a grocery store owned by someone thought to be Middle Eastern. A mosque was shot up in Dallas. Reports of violence, even murder across the country. It makes me sick. I want to walk up to every Muslim student I see and tell them I don't hate them, that I want peace for all. I know it would probably look a little strange, this white girl in a camoflauge jacket wandering around trying to be reassuring.
Writing in a paper notebook.
Went to the UT Memorial Service Friday, and for the first time since this happened I cried. I cried so hard I could not get up off my knees by the flagpole. A photographer and some students demonstrating for peace helped me up and away, and for that kindness I will always be grateful.
Even though I have finally started letting myself feel, even though I know my loved ones and my friends are safe, the world feels wrong. I'm cutting class right now, to sit and stare at this screen. I can't concentrate on school or work. The numbness segues into depression each day.
Suzanne's birthday was yesterday and I forgot to call, and I'm sure I'm missing things everywhere. I'm sorry.
Someone tried to burn down a grocery store owned by someone thought to be Middle Eastern. A mosque was shot up in Dallas. Reports of violence, even murder across the country. It makes me sick. I want to walk up to every Muslim student I see and tell them I don't hate them, that I want peace for all. I know it would probably look a little strange, this white girl in a camoflauge jacket wandering around trying to be reassuring.
Writing in a paper notebook.
Re:
I made it to my classes yesterday, and I will tomorrow, and perhaps it will just slip into routine for me.
To peace,
Amanda