so many things, I can't think where to start

[threeplusfire]

I need to finish my latest stack of library books so I can start reading the ones I received from the Yuletide swap. They both look amazing. Ecko Rising by Daniel Ware looks like the cyberpunk thriller I enjoy and Trumpet: A Novel looks like one of those peculiar portrait novels I love to find. Ahh Yuletide. You always bring me such joy.

I should also get cracking on that Yuletide story and just finish the thing. I think I know where I'm going with it. Sometimes I have to wait to dream about it.

A friend of mine sold a novel, because she's an amazing writer and far more dedicated to the process of putting that stuff out there than I have ever been. I'm ecstatic for her, and the tiniest bit jealous. I am completely aware that this bit of jealousy is only because at heart I'm lazy and slothful and terrified. I think though, that if I get to keep this job I have now I might actually write more and maybe I'll finish something worth showing to someone else.

Speaking of work, a friend commented that I seem happier at this job than I've ever been anywhere. It's true. It's part time manual labor with no responsibilities. It's like that moment in Office Space where he's talking about becoming a construction worker. There's a kind of freedom and peacefulness for me in this job. I open boxes. I carry boxes. I empty boxes of stuff and break the boxes down before I chuck them into a recycling dumpster. The other day my boss even encouraged me to smash something just for fun. The people are very nice, the hours are bearable, the location is close to home, it gets me up and moving. I don't worry about anything at all while I'm working because I'm busy. As a further bonus, my boss immediately tracked on the gender thing and makes a point of calling me by the correct name and pronoun. I really couldn't have asked for a better thing. I hope they want to keep me on after the holidays.

Someone made a snide comment about what a great use of my university degree this job is recently. The answer to that is "Fuck you." I am not defined by my job and I don't owe the universe anything just because I got a degree. If I want to work as a box smashing inventory guy, then I will.

Right now it is actually freezing outside. No snow, but brutally cold. So of course, a great time to shave my head. I have a bit of a cold and I'm trying to quit smoking. It is a weird time.

I fucking love December, because I love Christmas trees and cold and hot drinks and spices. I made fudge last night and despite a colossal cock up in the kitchen with my ingredients it came out okay. Got a new (totally free from work) dessert book and I'm trying out recipes.

My father is still dead and I don't know what to do about that.

Comments

[dine.livejournal.com]

I'm really glad you're happy in your job - that's such a huge thing! I hope you can stay on in the new year.

enjoy your December and all the cool aspects of the season
♥

[brienze.livejournal.com]

I'm so glad to hear that your job is treating you well and it's a better situation than just somewhere to make a little money. It sounds like your boss likes you, so even if there's no leeway at all to keep you after the holidays (mandates from corporate hq suck) you're probably the first person to get a call once there's a position open again.

I've been "wasting" my degree even longer than you have. If either of us were a stay-at-home parent, would that be wasting a degree? What a ridiculous comment. Are retirees wasting their degree? Unless it's your passion, a job is what you do (if you have to) to afford the rest of your life.

I took a petit four class at Make It Sweet last month! Don't know how pretty they'll be, but that will be the edible gift of the year. Since Christmas and New Year's are inconveniently cancelling my Wednesday night spinning group, we're having a post-holiday party on January 8th, and I'm going to make a batch of petit fours to take to that. Since I'm about to have parental units descend on me, maybe I can bring some to you guys and go lunching then?

[redstapler.livejournal.com]

Blegh.

A college friend of mine made it most of the way through a law degree before he quit. We talked about it once, and his take on the whole thing was, "I decided I'm happier in a job with my name on a tag on my shirt."

It was actually a really profound statement.

[cymry.livejournal.com]

I used to get that comment a lot, and I'm struggling a bit with it now. While I consciously know that my degrees don't define who I should be, fitting me into a tiny box with a check-mark on it, society is just so damn full of expectations.

I did my BA for love of the subject, and my college certificate to try to get a job doing something I love. Now that I'm unemployed, it seems like I am defined by what I'm (not) doing... But I was happy working in a bookstore, putting books on the shelves and packing boxes. Life is weird.

All that to say, sounds like you found a good thing. I'm so glad for you.