it's too late
Aug. 7th, 2001 03:52 amI don't know why I'm still up. Residual caffiene, one cigarette, just my own nervous pace. We played mah-johngg for a little while before everyone else decided to go to bed.
Me, I'm still sitting here. Listening to an old old mix tape of Skinny Puppy and Nine Inch Nails. Reminds me of staying up late in high school, listening to the music in the garage and typing randomly, cleaning the kitchen and baking strawberry pies in my swimsuit. That green and blue bikini, god, I must have been 13 or 14 when I had that. It was the most perfect pie I ever made.
Sometimes I think about how I'm past the point of physical growth and from now my body is slowly decaying. Dying cell by cell.
My writer friend sent me another letter tonight. The new piece made me whisper "wow" at the desk, under the industrial heartbeat.
She's in bed with him and I am sitting out here alone.
I want to scream.
Sleeping is where I should be but I know it will be hard to go down. Exhaustion I don't feel anymore.
This is where I used to be.
Me, I'm still sitting here. Listening to an old old mix tape of Skinny Puppy and Nine Inch Nails. Reminds me of staying up late in high school, listening to the music in the garage and typing randomly, cleaning the kitchen and baking strawberry pies in my swimsuit. That green and blue bikini, god, I must have been 13 or 14 when I had that. It was the most perfect pie I ever made.
Sometimes I think about how I'm past the point of physical growth and from now my body is slowly decaying. Dying cell by cell.
My writer friend sent me another letter tonight. The new piece made me whisper "wow" at the desk, under the industrial heartbeat.
She's in bed with him and I am sitting out here alone.
I want to scream.
Sleeping is where I should be but I know it will be hard to go down. Exhaustion I don't feel anymore.
This is where I used to be.