Sep. 4th, 2001

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Doctor visit, another prescription for a higher dosage. Sad wandering of the grocery store. Bought tangerines and two microwave dinners. Grey sky outside, flat. Lately when the clouds break, the sky looks like an 18th century oil painting, fantastic shapes edged in blue.

Why? Why am I this? Where did it begin?
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Mad day at work. So terribly busy. I am glad to be home.

Spent a lot fo time thinking about how even though I've lost most of my innocent qualities, I still retain certain things from childhood. Mostly this fascination with personification, animation of the inanimate, and a hyper-active imagination.

When I was very young, I would hallucinate vividly. That still can happen sometimes, depending on what's going on around me. I've always been adept at envisioning, creating something out of little or nothing. Most often I animated inaminate objects, toys, figurines, pictures, that sort of thing. That habit is still so strong that even today I find myself looking at children's books and developing personalities and emotional attachments to drawings.

I should be writing a Czech monoluge, but I'm not. Oh well. It will get done soon enough.

A message from Americorps wanting to schedule a job interview. Um, that would have been nice a month ago when I applied. Weird. A bit depressing too.

My feet hurt. I want my roommate to leave so I can put on my tapes and relax.

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