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Still no computer at home, thanks to the roommate. I wonder if she will ever bring it back, or if she took away as osme form of "punishment." But I think she's clueless about how I feel, so it's more likely she's just careless.
So this is the first time in days to check email and make sure that everyone really is okay. I've been trying to go to work and school, but it's so damn hard.
Memorial service at 12:15 on the Main Mall. Faulkner says the university will close at noon, but only because "it's too hard" to get everyone back together for class afterwards. Fuck you Faulkner. Where's your compassion? I found it unpleasant that after you made everyone continue teaching Tuesday that you had the nerve to get up to the podium and talk about terror and grief.
My head aches, my body aches. Everything is painful right now.
The doctors think my grandmother has something dangerous in her lungs. No word yet if it is cancer.
I keep watching the news. Because there really isn't anything else to do but flip listlessly through the channels or talk about it in Metro or cry or something. I still haven't let myself cry yet. I'm afraid that I won't be strong enough for what comes next if I do. Because something will come next, and it looks like that something might be incredibly destructive.
Found the only red shirt in my closet this morning. Red shirt, blue jeans, white socks, black shoes, white ribbon. The Texan printed full page flags for us to carry.
I can't sleep anymore. When I lay down at night, the panic suffocates me. The fear of dying, the fear of war and destruction, the fear of losing everything. Nothing helps right now.
The only good news is that everyone I know is okay, and that I can still give blood. Which will happen in the next week or two, because the Blood and Tissue Center is full. If you live in Austin, you know we've had a blood shortage for ages. But now they can't possibly handle any more blood, and they are asking everyone to wait and try in the next weeks.
I saw the livejournal of someone who died in the New York nightmare. I'm crying in the library. He had a birthday the day before.
The world is on fire.
So this is the first time in days to check email and make sure that everyone really is okay. I've been trying to go to work and school, but it's so damn hard.
Memorial service at 12:15 on the Main Mall. Faulkner says the university will close at noon, but only because "it's too hard" to get everyone back together for class afterwards. Fuck you Faulkner. Where's your compassion? I found it unpleasant that after you made everyone continue teaching Tuesday that you had the nerve to get up to the podium and talk about terror and grief.
My head aches, my body aches. Everything is painful right now.
The doctors think my grandmother has something dangerous in her lungs. No word yet if it is cancer.
I keep watching the news. Because there really isn't anything else to do but flip listlessly through the channels or talk about it in Metro or cry or something. I still haven't let myself cry yet. I'm afraid that I won't be strong enough for what comes next if I do. Because something will come next, and it looks like that something might be incredibly destructive.
Found the only red shirt in my closet this morning. Red shirt, blue jeans, white socks, black shoes, white ribbon. The Texan printed full page flags for us to carry.
I can't sleep anymore. When I lay down at night, the panic suffocates me. The fear of dying, the fear of war and destruction, the fear of losing everything. Nothing helps right now.
The only good news is that everyone I know is okay, and that I can still give blood. Which will happen in the next week or two, because the Blood and Tissue Center is full. If you live in Austin, you know we've had a blood shortage for ages. But now they can't possibly handle any more blood, and they are asking everyone to wait and try in the next weeks.
I saw the livejournal of someone who died in the New York nightmare. I'm crying in the library. He had a birthday the day before.
The world is on fire.
