damn the phone

The phone has been ringing at 8am for the past couple of days, and only part of the automated message has been making it onto the voicemail. Today I answered the phone. It's Southwestern Bell, demanding payment.

Damn it. That stupid little girl has quit paying the phone bill. What a petty, passive aggressive way of dealing with her problems. Did I really once think this person was my best friend?

I can't get a human being on the phone, just this impenetrable automated system. So I can't fix what ever is going on. I am furious.

When things became difficult for us, all I did was ignore her. I avoided hanging out with her, I didn't say anything. That's all. I never made it seem like she wasn't safe coming home, or that she couldn't live here, or whatever bullshit she has probably told her friends. All I did was wait and see if she would apologize for her atrocious behaviour, or something. If she had come to me in the week afterwards, and offered to help clean up the glass or anything, it probably would have been okay. If she had ever apologized for hurting me, I could have forgiven and tried to repair the friendship.

She never said anything. For a time, she pretended everything was fine and talked to me like nothing had happened. That just made me sick. I know some of our friends encouraged her to talk to me, but nothing ever came out of it. Then she started acting like the injured party, not coming home, lying and other such things.

Through this whole thing I've surprised myself, trying to remain very calm and cool in my dealings with this ugly situation. I have refrained from discussing the msot ugly details within our circle, avoided saying anything for the most part. Until people started noticing Karen's weird behaviour and asking questions.

I fear I'm fast approaching a breaking point. That I can't take anymore of her ridiculous act. I might just pour the rotten milk she's left in the fridge for a month on her clothes or her bed. I might walk up to her in Metro and throw her latte in her face. I might pawn all her stuff here and pay the phone bill. That I mgiht say out loud in front of everyone how she betrayed her friendships and threw everything over for a big cock.

But I only indulge myself in these terrible fancies when I'm angry, and soon perhaps I will calm down. Right now I am something to be feared, with flashing eyes and icy tones, claws scraping the walls.

wait, it gets even better

Karen's boss at the Math Department, where she grades papers, called. He sounded unhappy and it seems like Karen isn't even bothering with her job anymore. I don't know what this girl is thinking. If she screws up and we have to take someone else into the apartment she is stuck living with her boyfriend. But if for some reason they fight and break up again, she would have nowhere to go. Not very smart to put one's self in this kind of situation.

On a much happier note, I recieved a postcard from my Gogol Buddy and a wacky magnet from the Sku Keeper. It has Dutch County town names on it, like Paradise, and Intercourse. Hee. What spiffy friends. I must get back in the habit of sending out mail.

(no subject)

Review today, and now I am a regular Half Price Books Employee. My manager told me I scored higher than average but that still doesn't make me feel very good. I was marked negatively for the paperbacks, even though it wasn't really my fault that no bothered to tell me I was supposed to be shelving them. Promised to work on being "more aware of my actions" and on my "efficiency." I apparently talk too much. I don't recall ever being told that before.

But whatever. All that matters is that they didn't fire me or anything like that. Now I can take sick days and holidays. Next week I will have three whole days off. Lovely. Next week is the concert and Natalie's wedding, what fun!

Very tired. Must study. Long day tomorrow.