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After spending most of Thursday in a sickness drenched sleep, I managed to sleep late and miss my Czech final. Horrified, I called Hana in her office. At first she was worried that I had been hurt, but laughed when she realized what happened. Instead, I will write Czech haikus and turn them in next week. Thank God it was only that class, and I managed to make it to my other final.
Work was work, picked up some flags for each of the Hogwarts Houses to hang in our living room. Melynda gets Griffindor and Ravenclaw, I get Hufflepuff and Slytherin. Cheery.
Went to Sam's birthday party this evening. Before the rain started we congregated out back, under a canopy of white Christmas lights. All very lovely, and the ground covered with snails. Interesting gathering of people. Gave the beautiful Kim a ride homw so she could sleep before work in the morning, and went back on a whim. So very glad I did. I spent a great deal of time talking with Matt, who is a delightful boy so much like myself we must be related somehow. We have quite similar taste in books, films, and men. Now that classes are over we will have more time to talk.
Basking in the warm internal glow of vodka and standing on the porch in my tank top, I never did feel the cold. People discussed American politics, Russian politics, socialism, coming out, sex, artificial intelligence, music, the aesthetics of protest, and so many things. It was wonderful, amazing. To have such conversation, such fascinating intelligent sharing was more than I've experienced in a long time. It's the first party to ever live up to my twelve year old expectations. This is what I dreamed about when I was younger, being able to talk until morning about things passionately and fall over laughing.
Driving home on highway 183, over slick roads, I had a moment. All the decisions, good and bad, were worth it to be who I am right now. To be who I am becoming. I thought of Reive and her 8th square.
When I hit the overpass, the song came on the radio that was playing the day I tried to crash my car and lost my nerve. This time, it was okay. It stayed with me all the way up Mopac, and then I drove through the neighborhood listening U2 sing Christmas songs. This brilliant joy filled me, in the rain slick morning. I am me, I am becoming who I want to be. Oh God, it is so wonderful.
Work was work, picked up some flags for each of the Hogwarts Houses to hang in our living room. Melynda gets Griffindor and Ravenclaw, I get Hufflepuff and Slytherin. Cheery.
Went to Sam's birthday party this evening. Before the rain started we congregated out back, under a canopy of white Christmas lights. All very lovely, and the ground covered with snails. Interesting gathering of people. Gave the beautiful Kim a ride homw so she could sleep before work in the morning, and went back on a whim. So very glad I did. I spent a great deal of time talking with Matt, who is a delightful boy so much like myself we must be related somehow. We have quite similar taste in books, films, and men. Now that classes are over we will have more time to talk.
Basking in the warm internal glow of vodka and standing on the porch in my tank top, I never did feel the cold. People discussed American politics, Russian politics, socialism, coming out, sex, artificial intelligence, music, the aesthetics of protest, and so many things. It was wonderful, amazing. To have such conversation, such fascinating intelligent sharing was more than I've experienced in a long time. It's the first party to ever live up to my twelve year old expectations. This is what I dreamed about when I was younger, being able to talk until morning about things passionately and fall over laughing.
Driving home on highway 183, over slick roads, I had a moment. All the decisions, good and bad, were worth it to be who I am right now. To be who I am becoming. I thought of Reive and her 8th square.
When I hit the overpass, the song came on the radio that was playing the day I tried to crash my car and lost my nerve. This time, it was okay. It stayed with me all the way up Mopac, and then I drove through the neighborhood listening U2 sing Christmas songs. This brilliant joy filled me, in the rain slick morning. I am me, I am becoming who I want to be. Oh God, it is so wonderful.