will I ever learn to sleep

Even after it quieted down, sleep proved elusive. I think it is my lungs. Finally I piled my pillows up and drifted off almost sitting up.Too much dreaming of death.

I started my Lenten fast more than a week early this year. But I think I will give up smoking entirely anyways. I have no physical desire for it, and evaluating the psychological aspects does not leave me with much either. I started smoking because it was the most socially acceptable form of self punishment I had at eighteen. I continued because it was something to do, something to share and a way into conversations I didn't know how to start. I think I've grown past that now.

The only thing I do miss is having something to do with my hands. I fidget too much.

Instead of going to school, I want to lay here with my white tiger that I've finally named Dmitri. Should have gone with my first impression.

many thoughts

Do not let the cashier have an initimate view of your troubled marriage by arguing about whether to have a bag or not. We do not want to know.

A man in the store recommended I take a Chinese herb, with a three syllable name, to help my cough. He said I had good energy.

My classics professor discussed sex and marriage in Rome. There is something charming about that sort of man discussing sex with a mixture of bluntness and delicacy.

While I was sick, my mother let me wear these blue and green pajamas. She gave them to me to take home, and now I wear them with my Czech house shoes. My soap smells of marigolds, and the best thing about my Czech soap is how clean I feel afterwards.

I want chocolate cake.