you owe me nothing in return, alanis morissette

I'll give you countless amounts of outright acceptance if you want it
I will give you encouragement to choose the path that you want if you need it
you can speak of angers and doubts, your fears and freak-outs and I'll hold it
you can share your so-called shame-filled accounts of times in your life
and I won't judge it
and there are no strings attached to it

you owe me nothing for giving the love that I give
you owe me nothing for caring the way that I have
I give you thanks for receiving it's my privilege
and you owe me nothing in return

you can ask for space for yourself and only yourself and I'll grant it
you can ask for freedom as well or time to travel and you'll have it
you can ask to live by yourself or love someone else and I'll support it
you can ask for anything you want anything at all and I'll understand it
and there are no strings attached

I bet you're wondering when the next payback shoe will eventually drop
I bet you're wondering when my conditional police will force you to cough up
I bet you're wondering how far you have now danced your way back into debt
this is the only kind of love as I understand it that there really is

you can express your deepest of truths even if it means I'll lose you and I'll hear it
you can fall into the abyss on your way to your bliss I'll empathize with
you can say that you have to skip town to chase your passion and I'll hear it
you can even hit bottom have a midlife crisis and I'll hold it
and there are no strings attached

you owe me nothing for giving the love that I give
you owe me nothing for caring the way that I have
I give you thanks for receiving it's my privilege
and you owe me nothing in return.


I rarely copy out song lyrics in my journal, despite my tendency to sing along and scribble them in the margins of notes during classes. Music has been in my life as long as I can remember, thanks to parents with reasonably good taste and a record collection. But sometimes, there's something, somewhere, that's so important to a moment. Those songs are always unexpected, so often not even from a favorite band or someone I even listen to often. A couple things happening in my life right now make me think I should remember these words.

(no subject)

Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. I used my cell phone while driving today.

At least now, the ant infestation seems to have been curbed. I sprayed the baseboards and the doors and windows, and a dozen other places that seemed to be possible points of entry. I even sprayed the outside of the door, and the porch. Ugh. They were large ants too, the kind that crunch unpleasantly when you squish them. I have bites on my toes.

The apartment really needs a thorough scrubbing. *sigh* I suppose this is going to occupy my week.

too much coffee, not enough brilliance

Do I really need a Red Army greatcoat? No. Do I want one? Yes. Oh yes.

There's an orange cat sleeping next to me. I have two open packs of cigarettes. My stomach hurts, and I think I'm going to crawl into bed and listen to all the VNV Nation I downloaded today until I fall asleep.

will the world stay standing still
at least for me?