rambling because it is five am

So there was a party in my apartment of sorts. Not much to say about it, other than the usual. I'm always the last one left, chasing people out, cleaning up. Sigh. And the PS2 needs to be cleaned or something, because I can't get a DVD to work to save my soul. All I wanted was the insane Frenchmen damn it. And now the dreaded lj cut, which I never use it seems. Reader beware and all that shit.

( Rambling about Lucius, and things you may skip if you are one of the people who thinks I'm an idiot and/or a weirdo for my interest in role playing )

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I cry in movies, frequently. I have cried every single time I've seen The Two Towers for one reason or another. I cry when watching The Last Unicorn, for god's sake. I cry when I read books, and there are many of those.

But there are very few things that will make me weep as if it were real. Dancer in the Dark was one of those, because of how I feel about the death penalty and Bjork's performance. I sobbed my way through the last fifteen minutes and had a mild nervous breakdown. That's a beautiful, amazing movie and sadly I will never be able to watch it again.

I think watching Ewan McGregor as Christian break down in the end of Moulin Rouge was one of the most awful, wrenching performances I've ever seen. Here I am, watching a movie I didn't expect to like at all, and crying out loud.

Gene was kind to me today, in an unexpected way. I care very much for him, you know. I wish we lead less complicated lives sometimes.

(no subject)

So after all this angst and madness, I went out. Drank my favorite coffee, played cards, watched the ebb and flow of the Metro crowd. It was good and got me to stop moping about the things in my life that bother me.

Drove home and I have to be careful because it is so easy to go too fast with the machine. I listened to my favorite remix of "Walking In LA" with Ice Cube and the bells, and that is a good driving song. It makes me feel good, screaming down the road. I listened to it obsessively when I stopped being so afraid of driving.

I'm better now. While I wish my family was not so depressing, and my head so difficult to manage, it's alright. I'm going to see my dad this week, and I hope he likes the books. I picked up Gaiman's American Gods and Neverwhere, Gardner's Grendel and the ever lovely Confederacy of Dunces. My father has good taste in books.