never an easy transition to make

Another night of restless sleeping. I feel less ill today, and perhaps it is just adjustment. Watching Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust. I want to live in Carmilla's scary, enormous castle. Vampire love story. Oh it makes me sad. Meier is some of my inspiration for Lucius, really, in his arrogance and the way he moves.

Paranoia, as my laptop screen has flickered a few times lately. It fell out of my suitcase onto the wooden floor when I was leaving New York, and granted it wasn't very far or hard, but ack.

I don't want to go outside today. But back to my regular life I suppose.

weather science

The news says the haze will last for some days yet, as there are no real cold fronts to sweep rain through and wash it out of the sky. It's almost as bad as 1998, my first year of college. The sky is that same sickly color, and it feels strange. Damned fires, and agricultural practices and whatever else. I keep cleaning my glasses, thinking it's going to change something.

The light is off kilter. I'm not sure I want to go out into it, but must get back to work and this supposed real life I have.

Which has been something I've pondered for days and days now, what really is my life. There are so many things I enjoy about it, and so many more that need changing. I need French lessons and Czech tutoring, and where is that GRE book now? I need to learn how to breathe, and open my eyes underwater, and I should start taking better care of my skin, maybe think about seriously quitting smoking. Though I like to smoke, and I'm not sure how I feel about that yet.

I'm just feeling weird lately. Don't mind me. I'll get some of the nervousness out of my movements this weekend.