trust me, I can get things done

I can't help you if you don't talk to me.

And I refuse to apologzie for pushing, because this is who I am. I am the person who takes care of things. I am the person who will step in and make decisions on what to do, the person who will drop fucking everything and do what needs to be done. That is me, and I like that about myself. It may be something born of some screwed up things, but I use it to good ends. I am proud of my ability to take care of other people when I need to do it.

It's a matter of honor to me, to be what I am for the people closest to me. I did it once this week, for an old friend who needed it badly. Ultimately I can not solve the situation for him, or tell him the right thing to do, but I can be there, I can talk him through all the things he needs to say and hear, I can make him drink some water and go to bed. I can be there, and I will be there.

There are people in my life I would drop everything to help. I will get up at 4am, I will drive all over town, I will drive to ERs and jails and parents' houses and if I need to I will empty my bank account and get on a plane. I will do those things without hesitation, because these are people I love. My love and my sense of honor would allow me to do no less.

So the lesson is you can trust me to keep these secrets, you can trust me to be there. I will not judge you, I will not think less of you, I will not laugh at you. I will get things done. All you need to do is talk to me. That's all.

~~~~~

On a seperate and slightly related note, I've been thinking a lot about how certain friends of ours have crossed the line too many times. One does not belittle one's friends in regards to their habits or the things they love, and they certainly don't need to judge perfectly normal damned behaviour as unhealthy or weird. At this point I don't care if it makes anyone angry, I'm going to go on the warpath about this. You engage in these behaviours in regards to me or my friends, I will not have it. Rest assured that I am not afraid to dump a glass of coffee or beer over your head and walk away.

magic

D&D has been riotous fun, after two nights. We're moving along nicely I think, and my precocious sorceror boy is going to grow a backbone. Still the prettiest of the party. This is like some teenage geek fantasy, that we stay up til dawn playing, drinking, and eating junk food. Alan and I drank an entire bottle of port, which was just grand. He's got an evil bonus on his intimidate skills, so his character can yell anyone down. My character is a bit of a brat, but he's learning. We have way too much, except for when Jerimiah nearly got us all killed and I had to drag the bard back to the carriage so we could escape from the zombies.

Plus I bought shiny pretty dice! Woo.

(no subject)

Watching Pump Up The Volume which is one of my favorite 80s movies ever. It makes me incredibly sad at times, but the last twenty minutes where they are on the run... ah it gets me every time. And how can you not love some of those clothes? Heh.

godspeed into the night

Miss Hepburn, you have always been one of my heroes up on that movie screen. I'll miss you terribly, because you lived so many of those lives I wanted to live.