(no subject)

Some days, I just don't know what to say. It's a humdrum existence, except for those moments when I look sideways or feel it beating inside my ribcage. Who knows how to describe it, because I could write you all the over the top poetry and sentiment and it still wouldn't catch the spirit of the moment. It just is, and you don't know until you're there. I never believed that before, but I certainly do now.

Lists and lists. My life is a list at the moment. I have too many lists.

A bit disconnected, because I've absorbed so much in the past few weeks.

down the rabbit hole, past the matrix, over dream and through the shadow

Right this moment, the one mad thing I want more than anything else in the entire world is Yoko Kanno's cd of the music for the Ghost in the Shell television series. I wish I could sing in Russian like that. Must find someone who will make me a copy, in exchange for salsa or something. Or hell, I could say I don't need shoes for the wedding and just buy it.

Yeah, yeah I shouldn't be updating from work, but this song is perfect and the rain is coming down on the parking garage outside in the street lights and I'm having one of those moments where I am watching myself type and I'm wondering if this is in any way really real or something like that. I feel like I've stepped sideways into somewhere else.