he's running

The skies put me in moods. The color of the light, the shape of the clouds and the movement of the air. The other day I walked out to find a vending machine to buy a soda and walking back in the beginning rain reminded me painfully of Brno.

If Melynda was here, I would skip work and hightail it out for a road trip. The thought of driving in her car with the stereo up loud, the two of us singing along as loud as we can and chain smoking our way down the highway is a painfully appealling one right now. I should fix my damned car stereo. I need to do that before I do anything else. Then maybe I'd drive somewhere in my own car.

Woke up this morning with a headache worthy of a hangover, though I haven't had a drink in a week. I don't think I slept well at all. At leastI got paid today.

I've got a PJ Harvery song stuck in my head, so I just hear her screaming "He's running..." in the back of my mind.

There are days when I'm not altogether here.

minutes

A rather long meeting about the employee incentive program tonight, which kicked up some promising ideas. Thankfully the person I didn't want to deal with was not there, and seems to have been replaced by a more easygoing person. It went well, I think. There are good ideas percolating.

The supervisor in charge wants to make something that will matter to people, and perhaps motivate them to hate their work less. Can't go wrong with something like that.

I'm exhausted. Holding emotions in check is a draining process. But there are no real appropriate outlets to be had, and no matter how I handle them it seems wrong to express them. Having a crying fit is met with derision. Speaking calmly and in an even manner is also met with derision. I've got almost no private time outside of the shower to work it out. Can't win, at either end.

Gods above, I'm so tired.

Mostly I want to go home and sleep to wake up early tomorrow. At some point this weekend I'm going with Brett to check out the gym he's joined, and I intend to go to Metro tomorrow night. Hopefully I can get several hours in of just sitting there with the laptop.

Launchcast is treating me well tonight.

Amidst all the weirdness of my day to day life, I was incredibly heartened to read things on my friends page. Rach is finally (hopefully) getting paid soon and can slough off some of that ever present horrific stress. Jaida, brilliant mind of the next generation, won an enormous scholarship because of her writing. Cate's son is well on his way to becoming an evil super genius and creating the perfect acid gun, along with freaking out his teachers. There is still good in the world, I should just pay more attention to it.