running by trains

Had these weird dreams, about James owning a house, being Czech and being hunted by a man in a helicopter, and other things that don't make much sense any more now that I've been up twenty minutes. I do remember the part of the dream where an exboyfriend of mine made many proclamations that he was now gay and didn't care about me or his other exgirlfriends. I remember laughing, because it was so pretentious and such a high school kind of thing to do.

I feel a bit sick, though I shall trudge on to work. Have to take Alan for another appointment this afternoon, and there's much driving to be done. We've been taking Brett to work since his car is broken. I don't mind the driving, except when someone on the I35 access road pisses me off for no good reason. But I know he's every bit as independent as me, and that living without a car can get to one very quickly.

After September 11th, there was a point three or four days afterwards where I just had to turn off the television and everything else. I hit this weird point of media saturation and just couldn't take it any more. Right now, I'm starting to feel that way about the media and the entire world. That bothers me, because I feel like I can't stick my head in the sand however much I want to do so.

(no subject)

I feel sorry for the CSPAN people who have to sit there on camera and listen to people foam at the mouth and spew nonsense about what a good, God fearing man Shrub is and how we all just need to support him. I couldn't do it.

Television mostly makes me sad. It's just one awful thing after another, wrapped up in sugary coatings and platitudes and fear.

walking in water and darkness

This morning the rain poured down and overflowed everywhere. I flinched at the tremendous thunder clap directly overhead while I was in the parking garage smoking. Around noon, the power shut off in the building. Seven people were trapped in the elevators. We wandered around aimlessly until it was time to take Alan to the doctor's office. Unfortunately the power was restored, so we had to go back afterwards.

In the mail today was a statement of benefits from my dental insurance. That bastard evil dentist filed a claim to be paid for taking out my wisdom teeth! I can't believe his nerve. The woman on the phone in the MetLife claims department was quite helpful when I informed her I wanted them to stop payment on his claim. Tomorrow I'll fax some documentation over and keep that bastard from getting any money out of them for a procedure he didn't perform! That motherfucking bastard. I'm so angry about this, and I'll be damned if he gets paid for anything.

The day has felt so long. I worked nearly an hour of overtime tonight, and I will try to squeeze out some more before I go to the gym tomorrow. I might as well, and with as much money as we have spent on medical bills lately I need to do it. Our bank balances worry me, and I've already decided to give up the birthday celebration expenses and other such incidentals. Sigh.

So I will watch The 13th Warrior and relax with a muffin. I need to do something to take my mind off the other eight millions things I fret over.