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these ties that bleed
Jun. 4th, 2005 02:23 pmMy sister has been on probation for two years now, since that day I called 911 and had to pick up the car after the police chase. While looking for that entry I ran across so many others about her breaking into the house, running off in a stolen car with Dimwit and so much other insanity that led up to the final event.
But my sister ended up going to jail, and then onto probation. To give her credit she has tried so very hard to keep up with those classes and the fines and all of the painful difficult hoops a body has to jump through in those situations. She's cleaned up a lot. It would help to no end if she would finish that last credit and graduate high school so she has a better shot of getting a job, but she has been making the effort. I really thought she was growing up some. It was the first respectable thing she's done, and I tried to show through my behavior and actually speaking with her that I was glad and encouraging.
Last night I went to my mother's house to do some laundry and I walked into a scene straight out of my past. My sister tearful and pretending like she hadn't been screaming, my mother almost shaking with anger and hurt. It was absurd, and insane. My sister flipped her lid because my mother said she couldn't get a puppy because she had no job and no way of even taking care of herself. My mother has been feeding my sister and providing a rent free home with very little in the way of expectations. My sister is, predictably, an ungrateful little bitch.
She was so irrational and off the handle last night. I was afraid I would have to call the police again, and I walked back and forth from the washing machine to the living room with my phone in my hand. She eventually took off with some of her friends, after doing a lot of screaming about how she didn't care anymore and she was tired of trying and she was just going to put herself back in jail.
I don't know where she is, or if she will be so massively stupid as to get arrested or screw up her probation. I haven't heard anything yet. She's depressed, frustrated, and angry. Anything's possible. One can only hope these friends aren't so stupid or screwed up, and will keep her out of trouble.
It makes me so incredibly angry and depressed. I am so sick of my sister screwing up my family with her selfish, irrational behavior. I am sick of how much my mother has tried to help her and tried to be a safety net. Part of me wants her to go back to jail. The other part of me knows how much that will make my mother suffer. But I am so tired of it, I'm so tired of seeing how miserable and wrecked my family has become because of my sister.
But my sister ended up going to jail, and then onto probation. To give her credit she has tried so very hard to keep up with those classes and the fines and all of the painful difficult hoops a body has to jump through in those situations. She's cleaned up a lot. It would help to no end if she would finish that last credit and graduate high school so she has a better shot of getting a job, but she has been making the effort. I really thought she was growing up some. It was the first respectable thing she's done, and I tried to show through my behavior and actually speaking with her that I was glad and encouraging.
Last night I went to my mother's house to do some laundry and I walked into a scene straight out of my past. My sister tearful and pretending like she hadn't been screaming, my mother almost shaking with anger and hurt. It was absurd, and insane. My sister flipped her lid because my mother said she couldn't get a puppy because she had no job and no way of even taking care of herself. My mother has been feeding my sister and providing a rent free home with very little in the way of expectations. My sister is, predictably, an ungrateful little bitch.
She was so irrational and off the handle last night. I was afraid I would have to call the police again, and I walked back and forth from the washing machine to the living room with my phone in my hand. She eventually took off with some of her friends, after doing a lot of screaming about how she didn't care anymore and she was tired of trying and she was just going to put herself back in jail.
I don't know where she is, or if she will be so massively stupid as to get arrested or screw up her probation. I haven't heard anything yet. She's depressed, frustrated, and angry. Anything's possible. One can only hope these friends aren't so stupid or screwed up, and will keep her out of trouble.
It makes me so incredibly angry and depressed. I am so sick of my sister screwing up my family with her selfish, irrational behavior. I am sick of how much my mother has tried to help her and tried to be a safety net. Part of me wants her to go back to jail. The other part of me knows how much that will make my mother suffer. But I am so tired of it, I'm so tired of seeing how miserable and wrecked my family has become because of my sister.
