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prayers for rain
Jul. 1st, 2005 03:20 pmI can't remember the last time it rained here. There's some haze to the horizon today, and the sky is empty. Yesterday there were hundreds of little puff clouds that had flat bottoms and were too perfect to seem real. I'm still driving without air conditioning. Maybe one day I will be able to afford to fix it. It's not so bad, most of the time.
The phones are a little quieter today, but that just means that more crazy people get through. I had one woman yell at me and say that she hoped I couldn't sleep at night because of all the children being abused out there that I wasn't protecting. She was angry because I kept asking her questions, even though I tried to explain that I had to have an incident and not someone's vague suspicion that the child might be abused. It was absurd.
Still not writing much here. Current events have left me feeling depressed, and I just don't know what to say about it anymore. Or rather, I could go on at length but a) there's not a good reason for it, b) the world at large doesn't need the gritty details and c) LJ has enough angsty posts every day without my input. I should probably go find a counselor but I just haven't had the energy to do so yet. I'm at that point where I just don't want to explain any more. I never thought my marriage wouldn't last forever. This situation breaks my heart.
I've been sleeping badly, no surprise. It's hard to fall asleep, and I wake up too many times in the night. Then there are the nightmares, half remembered nazgul dreams that follow me. My whole body just kind of aches with it. I spend most of my evenings in the bath tub.
Last night I went to Stacy's house. Eric is running a D&D game, so I played their NPC cleric. I think I may just pick that character up regularly. I had a good time. Everyone likes getting rid of zombie dwarves. Plus, it gets me out of the bath and the house.
The phones are a little quieter today, but that just means that more crazy people get through. I had one woman yell at me and say that she hoped I couldn't sleep at night because of all the children being abused out there that I wasn't protecting. She was angry because I kept asking her questions, even though I tried to explain that I had to have an incident and not someone's vague suspicion that the child might be abused. It was absurd.
Still not writing much here. Current events have left me feeling depressed, and I just don't know what to say about it anymore. Or rather, I could go on at length but a) there's not a good reason for it, b) the world at large doesn't need the gritty details and c) LJ has enough angsty posts every day without my input. I should probably go find a counselor but I just haven't had the energy to do so yet. I'm at that point where I just don't want to explain any more. I never thought my marriage wouldn't last forever. This situation breaks my heart.
I've been sleeping badly, no surprise. It's hard to fall asleep, and I wake up too many times in the night. Then there are the nightmares, half remembered nazgul dreams that follow me. My whole body just kind of aches with it. I spend most of my evenings in the bath tub.
Last night I went to Stacy's house. Eric is running a D&D game, so I played their NPC cleric. I think I may just pick that character up regularly. I had a good time. Everyone likes getting rid of zombie dwarves. Plus, it gets me out of the bath and the house.