I just had the bitchiest, most irritating caller. She didn't have a damn thing to report. Oh, heaven forfend, three young boys are playing half dressed in the rain! There's thunder! The parents sometimes have loud parties and people drink beer until 3am! Oh my god, send out the helicopters we have to remove those kids right away!
Seriously. If you're calling to make a report because you don't like the lifestyle of the parents, you're out of luck. This woman was even more annoying that the woman who called to report the parents let a lesbian couple babysit the kids. Hello, the gay is not smallpox. Shut the fuck up.
But all that was balanced out by the fact that Caroline Kennedy just called me to inform me that Bobby and JFK are doing fine and living in Atlantis now. Apparently JFK uses the name Nick Foster now, but he still gets to use Air Force 1. Pretty sweet, I say. I'll take crazy mental patient callers over bitchy self righteous neighbors any day, thank you.