cultural shorthand

They shouldn't send me to training classes. I come off like an asshole, because I talk like an academic and people look at me sideways as if to say, "What the hell am I supposed to say after that?"

It's made worse by the fact that we're doing Cultural Diversity training, which necessitates discussion of such volatile topics as race, religion, and exclusion. I talked a lot more than I normally do, because they said if we participated we could go home early. As well, I have a lot of things to say on the topic and I'm the only white girl in the classroom who is mistaken for another ethnicity frequently. Too, it is something of a relief to be able to speak frankly about the topic because we all dance around it so damn much that I want to scream.

So we did get out early but not before I convinced myself that half the room secretly wanted to stab me with a sharpie. But I think I was the only person who could give a decent definition for the word culture. Hah! Academic arrogance never leaves you, I see.

How does this relate to my job, where I only hear the clients on the phone? Well even accents have a cultural connotation. I admit that every time someone says the words "trailer park" I immediately feel assumptions crowd my head. Most every time I get a caller with a strong Spanish accent or intonation I can guess they are in San Antonio and be correct. I very rarely make assumptions about race on the phone, but there was one time when I was so wrong about it that I was startled.

I don't think you can ever entirely eradicate certain assumptions or reactions. It's a part of your experience and world view, which if you didn't have would leave you floundering like a child. But being aware of those parts of your thought process makes it easier to circumvent them and tamp down those assumptions.

I am so god damned tired. More coffee for me. I finally went to the post office today. I ate some chocolate and I think that is making me sleepy.