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dreaming of storms
Jan. 11th, 2006 03:19 pmI had a long, cinematic dream that felt like it lasted for hours or days. (I blame the cough syrup, which I'm still taking at night because horizontal = misery.) In the dream, my college boyfriend commited suicide, and his brother called me from somewhere just to let me know. I remember him telling me they found him hanging in his living room, and I was on the phone looking at his LJ, wondering what happened. It was unsettling.
The rest of the dream centered around a beach and a hurricane. I was trying to find my friends, freaking out because I lost them when I moved the Jeep so we could get the hell out of there. It was stressful and strange, even though the storm hadn't shown up yet. I was driving Melynda's mother's white Jeep and freaking out because the damn thing just doesn't drive the way I expect it to.
I don't feel like there's any storm about to break here in the waking world. Most things are really settling themselves down. I'm getting over my little weekend freak out about my self esteem and relationships. Somewhere, I intend to write a post about that but it hasn't settled into something complete yet. Maybe it just needs more time to actually settle into my flesh and my head. It's a lot of change all at once, but some of it seems so small and I wonder how I've never noticed it before.
One of my friends is incredibly happy, and one of them seems to have some personal crisis simmering away. I never know if I cross too many boundaries, because my first impulse is to do something right now to fix it or make it go away. One of the problems of being that person who cares too much, too many peaks and valleys.
Work is busy. The state isn't allowed to plan for the future, only adjust what they have based on the past. So there never seem to be enough people, or resources, for everything that is happening. I may try to work some extra, earn a little comp time doing ereports. It's not so bad, truthfully. One of the best things about my job is that is soothes some of that need to be doing something, to triage and plan and evaluate and prioritize away the problems. I complain about it, but I secretly love it I suppose.
Mostly I wish it would rain. Everything is dry, and I want to hear the water rattling in the creek below. I took my car through the cheap, not so very efficient drive through wash last night it hopes that it would work like a charm. No luck yet.
When Gene was here he bought me a six pack of Budejovice pivo. I had two last night, and the taste was happiness. Other beer just never quite tastes the same to me.
The rest of the dream centered around a beach and a hurricane. I was trying to find my friends, freaking out because I lost them when I moved the Jeep so we could get the hell out of there. It was stressful and strange, even though the storm hadn't shown up yet. I was driving Melynda's mother's white Jeep and freaking out because the damn thing just doesn't drive the way I expect it to.
I don't feel like there's any storm about to break here in the waking world. Most things are really settling themselves down. I'm getting over my little weekend freak out about my self esteem and relationships. Somewhere, I intend to write a post about that but it hasn't settled into something complete yet. Maybe it just needs more time to actually settle into my flesh and my head. It's a lot of change all at once, but some of it seems so small and I wonder how I've never noticed it before.
One of my friends is incredibly happy, and one of them seems to have some personal crisis simmering away. I never know if I cross too many boundaries, because my first impulse is to do something right now to fix it or make it go away. One of the problems of being that person who cares too much, too many peaks and valleys.
Work is busy. The state isn't allowed to plan for the future, only adjust what they have based on the past. So there never seem to be enough people, or resources, for everything that is happening. I may try to work some extra, earn a little comp time doing ereports. It's not so bad, truthfully. One of the best things about my job is that is soothes some of that need to be doing something, to triage and plan and evaluate and prioritize away the problems. I complain about it, but I secretly love it I suppose.
Mostly I wish it would rain. Everything is dry, and I want to hear the water rattling in the creek below. I took my car through the cheap, not so very efficient drive through wash last night it hopes that it would work like a charm. No luck yet.
When Gene was here he bought me a six pack of Budejovice pivo. I had two last night, and the taste was happiness. Other beer just never quite tastes the same to me.