your pain my thrill

Thanks to the power of the internet, I have rediscovered my fondness for Alice Cooper. It's evil, and the guitars remind me of all the seventies rock I listened to as a kid. I have quite a thing for the music in my parent's record collection. I remember the Rolling Stones albums, the Steve Miller Band, Fleetwood Mac, the Stevie Nicks album I played over and over, the Eagles, and a dozen other things.

I'm feeling a little punchy this morning. Perhaps because i had a solid night of sleep that did not involve waking up hours before my alarm. I need to step away from the iTunes before I buy a load of new music this morning.

something in the way

It's apparently going to be one of those days again. I'm about ten minutes away from telling some of these people off. I'm especially appalled by the professionals who are morons, and even more so by people within my own agency who act like jerks. It's completely uncalled for, and hello, it's not professional to be an asshole. Why is this such a hard lesson for people to learn?

Today my desire and enthusiasm are very, very less.

screw you guys, I'm going home

Okay, fuck this. This day is too beautiful to have to put up with this sort of bullshit. My last caller began screaming at me, all because I asked a very simple question about how old the kids were. It was unbelievably hostile. The things he screamed at me were really sort of beyond any reasonable sane expectation.

Fuck you buddy. Don't you ever fucking dare question my loyalty to these kids, or how much I care. You have no fucking idea. You have no idea how little I get paid to let all the scum of the human race pass through my fingers. You have no idea how much I care, or about how much it hurts. Fuck you especially because you haven't done a damn thing to stop the situation or help those kids and you want to do is jump up and down shrieking about how CPS doesn't do anything.

I am going home. I'm going to go shopping or sit outside or anything other than be in here. Sometimes you just have to draw a little line and hold to it. No one yells at me. That's it.

I'm still standing

As part of my 'I'm going to actually sort of kind of take care of myself thing' these days, I decided to leave work early. I have lots of leave time. The hold times really were pretty low for midweek. My supervisor didn't care. I sat there and thought about it for a little while. I could have just taken my lunch, pounded my fist into the bathroom counter and continued on my day. I have a terrifying endurance when I need to have it. But I think that there is little point in pushing myself as far as I can go just to prove that other people can't keep up with me. I don't need to impress anyone, or prove anything to myself at this point. There will be other days where I will hold my head in my hands, and soldier onwards through the work. Today is just not that day.

If I needed any validation of my decision, it came at Half Price Books. I found a first edition copy of The Engineer of Human Souls. (And promptly dropped a stack of books on my foot in surprise) It was an absolute steal of a price, and filled me with joy. I know it was meant to be mine.

After I purchased a small present for my cousin's baby, I bought wrapping paper and bows. I just figured out what I am going to give my grandparents and cousins, so that's a huge relief. Now only a couple presents are left. I've wrapped some of Tyler's stuff, emptied the dishwasher and procured most of what I need to make marshmallows. So, it goes.

For people not living in the most wonderful and beautiful country of Texas today - it was seventy eight degrees out there, with sunny skies and a slight breeze. I wore a tank top and drove with all the windows down.