today I learned things

Today I skipped work to attend a fascinating training presented by Safe Place about domestic violence, specifically the domestic violence experienced by the elderly and the disabled. Disabled persons are three to seven times more likely to be victims of violence by family, lovers or caregivers depending on their situation. The training brought some issues to mind that I had never considered before, even though I consider myself reasonably well educated on domestic violence. I had never imagined how hard it would be to try and leave that situation if I were in a wheelchair, or needed a seeing eye dog. The presenter spoke about how so many shelters aren't really compliant with the Americans with Disabilities Act for various reasons. A person with a service animal can be turned away if the shelter staff isn't aware of how to make accommodations and exceptions. That's pretty terrifying.

One of the members of the founding staff with Safe Place is a very smart, articulate woman with a Master's degree who is paralyzed from the neck down due to a car accident in her teens. She speaks often about her experiences at the hands of a very abusive partner/caregiver, and how she was robbed and raped in her home by a gang of men who told her they specifically targeted her because of her physical disability. No criminal charges were brought as the men have not been found. When she filed a civil suit against the security for her apartment, their lawyers asked her how she knew she had been raped, "if she couldn't feel anything down there anyway how did she know there was penetration?"

We did some interesting exercises on the choices people face when trying to leave an abusive relationship. In one exercise, the character was a volunteer at an animal shelter and had a beloved cat. It was interesting to see how often the cat was put first by people in the class, and how often than happens in real life. It got me thinking about that, as people are deeply attached to their pets. Safe Place has a foster shelter program for pets, so people won't have that last stumbling block to prevent them from leaving. They even recently found a foster home for a donkey so an abused woman would leave her husband! It may sound utterly crazy to think of someone sticking around in such hell for the sake of a donkey but sometimes that pet is all a person has. The situation can be even more profound for a person who is disabled who may experience significant isolation from the community.

After the class was over, I talked to the Safe Place worker about the pet situation. I suggested that they forge some good working relationships with local veterinarians. Not only could the vets help the shelter in terms of finding foster homes or getting care for pets, but this is one more person in a safety net for the client. It's one more person who has a significant relationship, who is in a position to see them, especially when it comes to the elderly. My mother personally assisted an elderly woman for many, many years because they both had Siamese cats, and she often goes out of her way to help accommodate other elderly clients at her clinic. Having one more set of eyes that might notice something is critical, and there is never enough of that. (I felt good because the worker was excited about the idea and said that no one had ever brought it up before. I know there are programs that take pets to visit the elderly in various places such as nursing homes or day centers. Providing some training to those volunteers on what to do if they suspect abuse or if someone tells them they are being abused could be invaluable.)

Then I came home and took a nap because I was exhausted.

Mike had a work review today, which was good. They love him because he's smart and fast. We celebrated with Thundercloud and Amy's ice cream. (Mocha amaretto with marshmallows FTW!!)