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everything counts in large amounts
Nov. 6th, 2007 05:43 pmIt feels like just any other day, I suppose.
I think things are finally coming to an end. Time to make a choice as to whether I'll keep hitting that wall, trying to knock it down or make it change, or if I'm going to walk away. It seems like such a shame, for all of us. I grew up, and I was told that I was smart and creative and I could do anything I wanted to do. But when I tried to do some of that, suddenly all the adults say oh no, you've got to play like everyone else and be nicer, be quieter.
There is tragedy in mediocrity chosen. I understand there may be so many people working for the state that just don't care any more, that have given up, that are bitter angry and uninterested. But to tell people there's no hope for change, there's no point in trying, that trying is only going to cause trouble and be worthless - it is something I cannot countenance or support even by remaining silent. I cannot build a career on being insincere, or let myself become so bitter that the work I love becomes meaningless and impossible.
Everything in me screams to send everyone home, burn down all the offices, and put entirely different people to work on the problems. Take all the people struggling to make non-profit budgets stretch and perform miracles, take all those people who care and give them all our resources and money. Why not?
I think things are finally coming to an end. Time to make a choice as to whether I'll keep hitting that wall, trying to knock it down or make it change, or if I'm going to walk away. It seems like such a shame, for all of us. I grew up, and I was told that I was smart and creative and I could do anything I wanted to do. But when I tried to do some of that, suddenly all the adults say oh no, you've got to play like everyone else and be nicer, be quieter.
There is tragedy in mediocrity chosen. I understand there may be so many people working for the state that just don't care any more, that have given up, that are bitter angry and uninterested. But to tell people there's no hope for change, there's no point in trying, that trying is only going to cause trouble and be worthless - it is something I cannot countenance or support even by remaining silent. I cannot build a career on being insincere, or let myself become so bitter that the work I love becomes meaningless and impossible.
Everything in me screams to send everyone home, burn down all the offices, and put entirely different people to work on the problems. Take all the people struggling to make non-profit budgets stretch and perform miracles, take all those people who care and give them all our resources and money. Why not?