![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
each word, birds an strings
Jan. 19th, 2008 05:03 pmSometime in 2003 or 2004, I made a vow to write in my LJ every day. No matter how mundane or lame, I needed to record something every day. It was a good habit and one I fell out of sometime in the past two years. Of late writing apathy and block have strangled me to the point of despair. Yesterday I bought a tiny notebook and four colors of pens, in hopes that something can be done.
In the bedroom we hung a helix of little birds on brightly colored strings. They are pretty - a toucan, some parrots, a cockatoo, and one that looks like a blue and black raven. It seems like it must have come from a place far south and warm, where there are many such birds. They were a gift from a friend of mine, one of my earliest LJ friends to become a friend in the waking world as well. Back in 1999 and 2000, LJ was a much smaller place and one could search a region like Texas and only spend an hour looking at everyone. (One of the reasons I finally registered a Livejournal account was that I loved the idea of a "friendslist" where I could read all the interesting people without having a bookmark folder mushroom into unwieldy size. This was back in the day when I still used Netscape.) Anyhow, my friend and I, we had a bad break during a difficult time. We didn't talk for a couple years. It's funny how the passage of time wears down sharp edges you thought would never stop hurting, like divorces and losses and fights. It doesn't seem to matter as much now, where we are. Everyone has their own point, and has to make their own choices about how far they will go and what they will put up with. We made different choices, for different reasons. It ended up alright. We had a delicious lunch at this tiny oddball cafe on a side street that reminded me of other cities. I want to go back and try dessert, and the curry chicken sandwich with apricots. Our lives are better than they were in that long year.
I've felt vaguely ill the past couple of days, which I blame on the cold front and the rain. It makes my shoulder ache and my head hurt. Mostly it makes me not want to do anything. But the sun is out today. I might try getting more of the library in shape, so I have a better place to set up my things.
In the bedroom we hung a helix of little birds on brightly colored strings. They are pretty - a toucan, some parrots, a cockatoo, and one that looks like a blue and black raven. It seems like it must have come from a place far south and warm, where there are many such birds. They were a gift from a friend of mine, one of my earliest LJ friends to become a friend in the waking world as well. Back in 1999 and 2000, LJ was a much smaller place and one could search a region like Texas and only spend an hour looking at everyone. (One of the reasons I finally registered a Livejournal account was that I loved the idea of a "friendslist" where I could read all the interesting people without having a bookmark folder mushroom into unwieldy size. This was back in the day when I still used Netscape.) Anyhow, my friend and I, we had a bad break during a difficult time. We didn't talk for a couple years. It's funny how the passage of time wears down sharp edges you thought would never stop hurting, like divorces and losses and fights. It doesn't seem to matter as much now, where we are. Everyone has their own point, and has to make their own choices about how far they will go and what they will put up with. We made different choices, for different reasons. It ended up alright. We had a delicious lunch at this tiny oddball cafe on a side street that reminded me of other cities. I want to go back and try dessert, and the curry chicken sandwich with apricots. Our lives are better than they were in that long year.
I've felt vaguely ill the past couple of days, which I blame on the cold front and the rain. It makes my shoulder ache and my head hurt. Mostly it makes me not want to do anything. But the sun is out today. I might try getting more of the library in shape, so I have a better place to set up my things.