it's the noise that makes me human

Sometimes I hear a song and I know it belongs right here, right now. I listen to it up loud in the car. Every words I drive under my skin, glittering sharp pins in my blood and my heart and my bones. I take the song inside myself, until I can hear it in my pulse and whatever the song was trying to tell me becomes a part of what I am.

I heard these both yesterday and bought the album. It reminds me of driving home from Metro in the dark on Mopac, trying to steel my heart against things and trying to keep myself from falling apart. Last night it was misty, hot and damp. The world felt a little extra unreal.

Slowly I am learning not care if anyone is looking at me on the floor. I tell myself it totally does not matter if I am the least awesome dancer in the room. All that matters is the noise in my head and moving.

blisters in the sun

Have discovered the Indian grocery near my house. Not only do they have everything I could ever want in spices, they have British candy and biscuits. I have a Kit Kat Crunchy! And guava juice! And ten pounds of rice since that was the smallest sack they had! I can't wait to buy meat and some vegetables at the farmer's market this weekend and start making curry with my supplies.

Stacy and I were swimming this afternoon and took a break to pick up her farmer's basket of stuff. She was feeling lazy so she just wrapped a towel around her waist and went in her swimsuit. On the way back we started talking about the Indian grocery and decided to make an impromptu stop.

Me: You know you're just wearing your swimsuit and a towel, right?
Her: Aww, it's Austin, who cares? It's not like we're in Dallas!

So true. So very true. So Stacy took me to this amazing grocery run by a lovely man and I had to restrain myself from buying all the things ever.

We paddled around the pool, cleaning out the leaves. It was delightfully cold because of the recent rain. I managed to stretch out my back and my hips from last night's dancing. I may have had too much gin last night, because I had such a headache this morning that could only be cured by a diner breakfast of hash browns, toast, scrambled eggs, bacon and coffee. Last night I danced to some Depeche Mode and it was wonderfully gothy and magnificent. I wish I could do that every night. But at least Wednesdays and Saturdays are full of music and potential dancing. My ankles are going to end up with permanent scars from the blisters, I swear. My new boots need to get here soon.

Now all I want is a shower and a nap.