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Jan. 30th, 2014 05:23 pmAs much as I ever pretend otherwise, I am a creature of habits. I get upset and anxious when my schedule changes unexpectedly, whatever the reason. I have to work on dealing with this better. I'm angry and upset that weather delayed the truck shipment, which means I didn't work today and will work tomorrow instead. But I'd make such plans to go out tonight for something special and knowing I have to up at 5:30am means I can't really stay out the night. Which is petty and lame and old of me to even whine about.
I am however grateful to be able to acknowledge my feelings are genuinely situational and will improve in time. I'm actually a bit angry with myself for allowing myself to fall into the old habits of another life. I regret taking on the responsibility of my father's estate. It is going absolutely nowhere, I still have that fucking car sitting in front of my house with its registration expiring and I get spam letters/phone calls from grave robbing vultures and collection letters/threats from fucking AT&T about his account. (And jesus wept, that was the one account I closed in person so why the fuck are they now being dicks & demanding more money.) We finally got a court appointed guardian but fuck if anything has happened all month that I know. I suspect by the time it is over, I won't have gained any money or reward or peace of mind. Should have had nothing to do with it at all.
It reminds me we really need to get our own affairs in order, but I'm putting that off until this bullshit is done.
Mike is ill, which always makes me anxious. I feel bad for him and there's almost nothing I can do to improve the situation or be helpful.
I am however grateful to be able to acknowledge my feelings are genuinely situational and will improve in time. I'm actually a bit angry with myself for allowing myself to fall into the old habits of another life. I regret taking on the responsibility of my father's estate. It is going absolutely nowhere, I still have that fucking car sitting in front of my house with its registration expiring and I get spam letters/phone calls from grave robbing vultures and collection letters/threats from fucking AT&T about his account. (And jesus wept, that was the one account I closed in person so why the fuck are they now being dicks & demanding more money.) We finally got a court appointed guardian but fuck if anything has happened all month that I know. I suspect by the time it is over, I won't have gained any money or reward or peace of mind. Should have had nothing to do with it at all.
It reminds me we really need to get our own affairs in order, but I'm putting that off until this bullshit is done.
Mike is ill, which always makes me anxious. I feel bad for him and there's almost nothing I can do to improve the situation or be helpful.