frailty thy name is woman
Apr. 21st, 2002 10:57 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
threeplusfireSo exhausted.
I should be sleeping, but I'm staying up in hopes of talking with Melynda. I think she's a bit upset with me. Added: All is well.
Another performance. All in all, it went rather well, and in a strange way I even enjoyed it. My friends seemed to enjoy it madly. I suppose if I weren't such a difficult person I would love acting. But, for me, the voices and the stories seem meant for a smaller scale and other ways.
I stayed up late talking to Gene and drinking far more than I remember. We chainsmoked on the balcony and discussed things I haven't talked about with anyone in god knows how long. Drove him back downtown later, much more sober. Our conversation in the parking lot of his office lifted my spirits immensely. Because I've been afraid of complicating our friendship with my impulsive gestures, and it's okay. Much more mature than I was at nineteen. He encourages me to do what I want to do, and it's a good thing in a friend. I had that feeling last night, this is something you will remember.
"I don't think I've ever cared for someone so unselfishly."
"That's scary."
I hear Pillars of Davidson in my head, oh be still my heart for all this.
So I've decided to leave the country. I'm going to write about it more cleary later, more in depth. But for now, it's enough to know. I'm going to Brno in July, for an intensive five week language course. Five hours a day of language instruction, optional literature lectures, films, art courses, excursions. Tuition, room and board at an unbelievable price. The opportunity to stay, either work or get a fellowship and study more. It's all there, and I know how much I want to do it.
I should be sleeping, but I'm staying up in hopes of talking with Melynda. I think she's a bit upset with me. Added: All is well.
Another performance. All in all, it went rather well, and in a strange way I even enjoyed it. My friends seemed to enjoy it madly. I suppose if I weren't such a difficult person I would love acting. But, for me, the voices and the stories seem meant for a smaller scale and other ways.
I stayed up late talking to Gene and drinking far more than I remember. We chainsmoked on the balcony and discussed things I haven't talked about with anyone in god knows how long. Drove him back downtown later, much more sober. Our conversation in the parking lot of his office lifted my spirits immensely. Because I've been afraid of complicating our friendship with my impulsive gestures, and it's okay. Much more mature than I was at nineteen. He encourages me to do what I want to do, and it's a good thing in a friend. I had that feeling last night, this is something you will remember.
"I don't think I've ever cared for someone so unselfishly."
"That's scary."
I hear Pillars of Davidson in my head, oh be still my heart for all this.
So I've decided to leave the country. I'm going to write about it more cleary later, more in depth. But for now, it's enough to know. I'm going to Brno in July, for an intensive five week language course. Five hours a day of language instruction, optional literature lectures, films, art courses, excursions. Tuition, room and board at an unbelievable price. The opportunity to stay, either work or get a fellowship and study more. It's all there, and I know how much I want to do it.