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threeplusfire) wrote2003-03-13 01:58 am
threeplusfire) wrote2003-03-13 01:58 am
synthesizer
I am remarkably calm. It comes from having an insanely productive day in which I got a lot of work done, and the drive home where I hit the highway right when the loud drums and synthesizers kick in during the middle of "Ya soshla s uma" so I was screaming in Russian with my window down. It felt good. All the anger from this afternoon was purged through constant work.
Sister still in jail. Thank heavens.
Parents thinking about keeping the car and giving it to her if she gets probation. What the fuck? I am extremely angry about this sign of early waffling on their part. Not only is it a sign they are going to have interaction which could lead to my sister sponging more off them or bringing more hideous drama into the family, I think it's a damn stupid idea. There is also the fact that they told me I could keep the money from selling the car and use it for my own car purchase, thus making me independent again. This is something I truly need. And I'm not the drug using psycho daughter. Damn it. I hate this. They talk so much about how proud they are of me, and how I'm such a great daughter, etc. But they are so much more willing to throw their money at my sister, who does nothing to earn it and frankly doesn't deserve it.
I am profoundly angry about it.
But it is okay, cause I'm hiding at the apartment right now, and I'm going out of town this weekend. I will get away from this nightmare.
Sister still in jail. Thank heavens.
Parents thinking about keeping the car and giving it to her if she gets probation. What the fuck? I am extremely angry about this sign of early waffling on their part. Not only is it a sign they are going to have interaction which could lead to my sister sponging more off them or bringing more hideous drama into the family, I think it's a damn stupid idea. There is also the fact that they told me I could keep the money from selling the car and use it for my own car purchase, thus making me independent again. This is something I truly need. And I'm not the drug using psycho daughter. Damn it. I hate this. They talk so much about how proud they are of me, and how I'm such a great daughter, etc. But they are so much more willing to throw their money at my sister, who does nothing to earn it and frankly doesn't deserve it.
I am profoundly angry about it.
But it is okay, cause I'm hiding at the apartment right now, and I'm going out of town this weekend. I will get away from this nightmare.
no subject
all these struggles with your sister must be really hard to take. it may seem like your needs should be secondary (you put your losing out on the car AFTER the waffling stuff), BUT, it isn't selfish at all to think that you would get the money from that car. you've put up with a whole lot, been a major source of strength for your family, and, (most importantly in my opinion)-- they told you that you would get the car money!!!!!! :(
still, even with out it - you are the better off daughter :) because somehow you ended up with the sense of responsibility! (which means you have a good chance a life without parental assistance! and that feels better in the long run anyhow...but it helps to have a car, so i have my fingers crossed for you!)
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