threeplusfire | wedding vows

Marriage is one of our society's most cherished and revered institutions. We treat it as a rare and sanctified occasion. And it is truly worthy of respect; no one can deny the power and importance of marriage in our lives.Yet statistically speaking, marriage is quite common. Most everyone gets married at some point in time, and some get married several times. I've never been married myself, but I think I know a bit about the subject since my parents have been married seven times. Over the years I've seen much of the good and bad that comes with marriage, and I'd like to share a little of what I've learned.

In our post-modern times, it seems like every tradition has been turned on its head in some fashion and marriage is no exception. Just over the course of my brief lifetime, the meaning of marriage has been blurred by the advent of career women and stay-at-home dads, single parents and latchkey kids, unmarried life partners and same-sex unions, and even mail-order brides and drive-thru weddings. The meaning of marriage is surely changing and no one knows where it may end up. Yet I don't think anyone really believes that these changes turn the institution of marriage into something trivial. Despite it's commonness, despite its changing nature, we always have and probably always will consider marriage a rare and sanctified occasion. Marriage is in a word, timeless.

There are many impressive and beautiful things in the world. A sunset over the Grand Canyon comes to mind. A newborn baby's gurgling smile. Yet in my mind there is nothing quite as impressive as a beautiful marriage. I don't mean just any marriage, I'm talking about the truly beautiful ones. The ones that seem natural and sometimes flawless. We all probably know of at least one beautiful marriage. For me, it's my grandparents. Nothing is as heart warming as the feeling you get in the presence of a beautifully married couple, seeing how they care for each other, see how they pay attention to the other's needs as if taking care of their own. If you stop and soak in that aura of a truly beautiful marriage it will give you a warm gentle tug at the heart strings. They reaffirm the good and noble aspects of life.

Yet beautiful marriages don't just pop into being at the exchange of rings and kisses. They reach their bloom over many years, from the seed of initial commitment, growing through times of joy and plenty, persevering through times of heartbreak and sacrifice. If a beautiful marriage is to sprout in this unknown soil, it must possess two fundamental traits.

First the bride and groom must be good people, capable of honest communication and cooperation. I can vouch myself that this couple has those qualities. Amanda I have known for many years, and though a bit of an oddball she's a delight, one of the most loving and giving people I've ever known. Alan I have not known as long; we're still getting to know one another. I can already tell he's a bit of an oddball too, which in this case is a good thing. But more to the point he's also what I like to call 'good people.' Our interactions have always been refreshingly honest and well-intentioned. I can already tell he's an easy-going and considerate person, exactly the type of person deserving Amanda's love. Both of them are open people; they communicate, they cooperate. They have a lot of potential.

However as important as communication and cooperation may be, alone they will not suffice for this marriage to reach it's potential. None of us live in a vacuum, unaffected by those around us and marriages are no different. Just as a young seedling needs water and sunlight to grow, newlyweds need the positive loving care of friends and family to make their marriage work. Let no one think this ceremony marks the end of a journey- rather this couple is about to take the very first step on that journey. No one knows what lies ahead and there may be critical times that any one of us could be called upon to help, to be a shoulder to lean on, or a friend to talk to. We are all here today because we love these people and we want what is best for them. So let every one of us do whatever we can honestly do to help make their dream of a beautiful marriage come true.

Alan's words
Amanda since I first met you something made me want to get to know you. Since then I have been lucky enough to get to know the most beautiful, intelligent and understanding woman in the world. Serious yet seriously playful, intelligent but never afriad of laughing at even one of my bad jokes, and the first person in my life to understand all of me.

Amanda I have little to offer you. But I vow to love you, to be your calm through the worst of times and to toast the best of times with you arm in arm. I will be a rapt audience when you speak, comfort you when you cry, be a rock to lean on when you are tired and share with you all manner of joys this world has to offer. I give you myself, all of me and all that we will become together. You are my best friend, my love, and in a few moments my wife.

Amanda's words
We do not choose the lives we are given
We only choose what to make of them.
All that I am, all that I will be
I have only this one life
and I choose to share it with you Alan.

These words and this ring are for you to know I will always be at your side
Anywhere I go with you I know I am home
and I will go with you to the end.
I love you.

Ring exchange
Do you (Alan/Amanda) take me to be your (wife/husband)
to have and to hold
to love and to cherish
with no reservation or regret
and promise to stay by my side forever and ever?

I do.

wedding vows

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