I don't know bout Hendirx, but this sounds a little like Family Systems Theory. I'd read a little bit of John Bradshaw's work, which apparently has a bit of a cult following... The basis there wasn't so much set on finding parental replacements, as finding people or situations that allow you to continue playing a role or performing a function that you played/performed in the "family" you grew up with.
I like the idea but, like you, I also suspect it's a bit more complicated than that.
I think that as we grow through major life-experiences (both traumatic and epiphanic), we calcify the emotions these experiences embody, into experiential anchors that help to define who we are. People that help to solidify these anchors tend to bring out a supportive streak, possibly even an attraction. People who help to break down those anchors evoke a defensive reaction...
I'm uncertain as to whether those anchors are a good or bad thing in themselves and uncertain whether we want to calcify them or destroy them... Probably it's better to pick and choose, but it's not like we have half the understanding of ourselves necessary to pick and choose which ones we want to do what with, nor even how to do it...
Wow. I'm not sure if that made any sense or not.
When the blonde (ancient history. I don't even write about her anymore) and I were shopping around for a relationship counsellor, she was big on Bradshaw's take on FST. We used it as a guidepost for interviewing folks. There's nothing wrong with checking out a number of counsellors... If you don't feel right about one's approach, it might be best ot move on or continue shopping...
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branchandroot
You don't strike me as particularly immature...
Date: 2005-04-25 08:56 pm (UTC)I don't know bout Hendirx, but this sounds a little like Family Systems Theory. I'd read a little bit of John Bradshaw's work, which apparently has a bit of a cult following... The basis there wasn't so much set on finding parental replacements, as finding people or situations that allow you to continue playing a role or performing a function that you played/performed in the "family" you grew up with.
I like the idea but, like you, I also suspect it's a bit more complicated than that.
I think that as we grow through major life-experiences (both traumatic and epiphanic), we calcify the emotions these experiences embody, into experiential anchors that help to define who we are. People that help to solidify these anchors tend to bring out a supportive streak, possibly even an attraction. People who help to break down those anchors evoke a defensive reaction...
I'm uncertain as to whether those anchors are a good or bad thing in themselves and uncertain whether we want to calcify them or destroy them... Probably it's better to pick and choose, but it's not like we have half the understanding of ourselves necessary to pick and choose which ones we want to do what with, nor even how to do it...
Wow. I'm not sure if that made any sense or not.
When the blonde (ancient history. I don't even write about her anymore) and I were shopping around for a relationship counsellor, she was big on Bradshaw's take on FST. We used it as a guidepost for interviewing folks. There's nothing wrong with checking out a number of counsellors... If you don't feel right about one's approach, it might be best ot move on or continue shopping...