i was wondering how you and alan were doing. i'm glad to hear you are beating out the honeymoon issues and deeply committed to each other- that's beautiful.
my father was a big traveller when i was growing up. our family was really two families-- family when dad was gone, family when dad was home. we sorta got used to the dad gone family, and sometimes it was really tough to deal with the way my mom would let dad run the show when he was around. i was raised with talk show voices, too. with other mothers that would say "i love my kids more than anything." one day my brother and i were bemoaning some disservice that was occuring due "family when dad was home" mode, "you love dad more than us!" we protested. "of course i do! he is my HUSBAND."
i was always taught that you put your husband first, above family/children/etc. you want your children to eventually have their own lives, and certainly you want your extended family to have their own lives...but your husband? that IS your life. because you chose it to be that way. i don't think of it as subservient or antifeminism or any of that jealous hogwash...how can it be if you CHOSE it?
all that to say- you are spot on, and i'm happy to read this! *hug*
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2005-05-12 01:08 pm (UTC)my father was a big traveller when i was growing up. our family was really two families-- family when dad was gone, family when dad was home. we sorta got used to the dad gone family, and sometimes it was really tough to deal with the way my mom would let dad run the show when he was around. i was raised with talk show voices, too. with other mothers that would say "i love my kids more than anything." one day my brother and i were bemoaning some disservice that was occuring due "family when dad was home" mode, "you love dad more than us!" we protested. "of course i do! he is my HUSBAND."
i was always taught that you put your husband first, above family/children/etc. you want your children to eventually have their own lives, and certainly you want your extended family to have their own lives...but your husband? that IS your life. because you chose it to be that way. i don't think of it as subservient or antifeminism or any of that jealous hogwash...how can it be if you CHOSE it?
all that to say- you are spot on, and i'm happy to read this! *hug*