Marriage is not an essay or a philosophical treatise, it is more like a river or a wild animal you domesticate with your spouse's help. It is what it is, just as life is what it is. You can't overthink it--and that's coming from somebody who treasures the intellectual life.
On June 1, my wife and I will be married 20 years, which is a big number and hard to believe. We changed over time, so I guess you would say our marriage did, but really it was us. And our lives have been richer for having been married, or at least I think so, because I have no real way of knowing.
I can't imagine either of us saying that one of us is more (or less) important than our children or even our friends. What does that mean? I wouldn't even know how to make that judgment. You don't need to, and shouldn't even try.
By the way, we are celebrating our 20 years with a trip to Italy. And we're taking the kids.
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branchandroot
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Date: 2005-05-13 06:34 am (UTC)On June 1, my wife and I will be married 20 years, which is a big number and hard to believe. We changed over time, so I guess you would say our marriage did, but really it was us. And our lives have been richer for having been married, or at least I think so, because I have no real way of knowing.
I can't imagine either of us saying that one of us is more (or less) important than our children or even our friends. What does that mean? I wouldn't even know how to make that judgment. You don't need to, and shouldn't even try.
By the way, we are celebrating our 20 years with a trip to Italy. And we're taking the kids.