I remember your voice

[threeplusfire]

with or without you
with or without you
I can't live
with or without you

and you give yourself away
and you give yourself away
and you give
and you give
and you give yourself away

my hands are tied
my body bruised
she got me with
nothing to win
and nothing left to lose
and you give yourself away
and you give yourself away
and you give
and you give
and you give yourself away

with or without you
with or without you
I can't live
with or without you

I remember Christian playing this on his guitar, singing on his answering machine tape his first semester away. I remember calling twenty times a night just to hear his voice. I miss him now. Hoping he is doing alright in Spain, that he is happy and finding some kind of purpose to his life, that he has stopped drinking and maybe the depression doesn't hurt so much. Because we both know it never goes away.

I was so happy to see him, before he ran off. Holding hands on New Years, walking in the dark, these long conversations about the space between our life and dreams. Laughing and confessing to the oh so secret crushes we had for each other, and what fools we were. Kids with no idea, walking home in the dark and biting each other's hands. All the pain and all the sadness never washed away those memories. I want to see him again, give him a hug and tell him to always hold on. Ask him to play the guitar for me again, to sing U2 and Talking Heads, David Bowie and Bjork.

I miss you Christian. Take care of yourself, where ever you are right now.