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threeplusfire) wrote2006-08-08 12:38 am
threeplusfire) wrote2006-08-08 12:38 am
[fiction] What Still Remains - February 1982
Title: What Still Remains, February 1982 chapter
Author: tsarina amanda
Fandom - Pairing: Harry Potter; Lucius/Severus, Lucius/Narcissa
Rating: PG-13 for mention of violence
Archive: please ask
Feedback: always appreciated
Summary: Settling back into life is not as easy as Lucius imagined it to be, and more letters are written than actually sent.
Previous Chapter: January 1982
Alone for the first time in months, Lucius didn't quite know what to do with himself. It was glorious, and a bit empty. He paid a visit to Gringotts to deal with the family accounts, a tedious task only enjoyable because goblins didn't appear to give a damn about politics. The other few wizards he encountered were startled. Lucius ignored them easily. He avoided the Manor entirely, unwilling to deal with the looming silences in the halls. The house elves would continue to take care of it until the Malfoys returned. For the winter at least he would remain in Spain, Lucius thought. It was not too far to travel, and the weather was moderately more tolerable than home.
Dearest Narcissa,
I would be very glad for you to join me in Spain.
with great anticipation of your presence,
Lucius
Lunch was very public, in a restaurant he often patronized. It was an almost daily habit from before and Lucius settled back into it with some relief. The service was mercifully exact as always and aside from a few hushed conversations from time to time it could have been as if the past several months did not occur. Several of his father's friends stopped by Lucius' table and behaved as if he just returned from a long trip. Lucius smiled into his napkin, amused by the propensity of other wizards to ignore anything. As long as everyone looked exactly the way they should, and all the ugly wounds were nicely covered in silk and velvet things could proceed uninterrupted.
Narcissa,
Have we not endured this silence and separation long enough? Write to me, come to Spain, send some sign of life. There is much I would say.
fondly,
Lucius
After a couple days, the novelty of freedom waned. He was restless, bored. Lucius wrote letter after letter, and shut most of them in his desk rather than send them. Some of them he even burned. He paced the house, from room to room where no other creature stirred the air or moved the furniture. His temper was short, and Lucius took it out on the hapless former members of his group. He abused Rookwood and the others not in Azkaban late in the evening when they gathered in a still secret place. The other Death Eaters watched him nervously. Lucius knew he could not hold them the way Voldemort had, but he could at least cow them into silence and more circumspect behaviors. He watched them speak, and threatened them with a certain amount of malicious amusement. There were a few of their number who would no doubt remain in Azkaban, and a handful that might still be released. Lucius counted the faces gathered around the room and sighed.
My devoted wife,
One hopes you and our son are well. No news has reached us here, and we worry. Write soon and let us know when you will arrive.
in expectation,
your husband
There was a chill breeze coming off the water that whipped his cloak around his ankles. In early evening the house was lit up with golden light. Beyond, the coast and countryside were in darkness. Lucius smiled, remembering that they came here on their honeymoon. They were married in the spring as family tradition dictated. He could remember the way Narcissa lounged on the low stone wall, in pale blue skirts with her face turned up to the sun. It was one of his first big purchases, coming into ownership of the Malfoy assets and estates. His shoes clicked on the long stone terrace as he walked towards the open doors of the main sitting room.
Narcissa was seated on a long, low backed sofa, crooning softly, rocking Draco in her arms. She heard his footsteps, knowing that it could only be Lucius, and her entire body stiffened in response, tension flaring. The months since she'd seen him arrested in their home had not been the kindest, and she'd had to work quite hard to hide the lines of strain that had developed around her eyes. She had to force herself to relax when the baby started to fuss, sensing her tension and disturbed by it. Narcissa resumed rocking him, if a bit stiffly than before, and kept her eyes resolutely on her son. Lucius paused in the doorway, strangely reticent to interrupt the moment. It was still up in the air how she would receive him. It was probably a good sign she hadn't warded the house against him, and that nothing had leaped out to throw jinxes and hexes. He smiled to see Draco, making little noises and waving very small hands. Lucius wondered if he was walking on his own yet.
"Narcissa," he said quietly, stepping into the house. She sat up straighter when he spoke, but did not turn to greet him.
"Lucius." Her voice was strangely devoid of emotion, despite the various reactions fighting for supremacy internally. Part of her wanted to go to him, thankful that he was home safely, but the majority of her was furious that he'd put them in this position in the first place. She allowed Draco to roll over in her lap and crawl along the sofa, peering at his father curiously. She wondered how her son would react to him, after such a long absence.
"Do you want me to ask you how you are, or is that a conversation we're going to avoid entirely?" he asked. Lucius moved to the end of the sofa, reaching out to grasp one of Draco's hands. He looked up at Narcissa, the question only half in jest and the tone of his voice not quite as light as he intended. It was quite clear to him that this was not an entirely happy reunion. His hair hung down, and Draco grabbed at it with interest to work small fingers into the white blond strands. Wincing, Lucius tried to untangle it from his inquisitive child.
"Do you really need to ask that question?" she replied icily. Any sympathy she might have felt for him vanished with his flippant remarks. That he could even partially joke about the last few months of humiliation he'd caused her made her want to hex him. She snatched Draco away from him, blatantly disregarding his grasp on Lucius' hair, though she did note the rather prominent bags under his eyes, and the fact that he'd lost rather more weight than was healthy.
"Narcissa," he said in a voice both aggrieved and weary. "I simply thought it best not to dance around the subject like we're at a a garden party. The question is whether you're amenable to actually discussing this." He combed his hair back behind his ears and unclasped his cloak. His black robes had recently been tailored to fit better, but did not do much to hide his weight loss. Lucius combed his hair back behind his ears and settled on the opposite end of the sofa, entirely unsure of what tactic to take with his wife. Narcissa snapped her fingers and a house elf appeared at her elbow, relieving her of the baby and returning him to the nursery. She rather thought this conversation might communicate unpleasant vibes to her child, and she wanted to protect him as much as possible. When the house elf vanished she turned to face her husband, absently rearranging her robes.
"Precisely what is it that you wanted to discuss Lucius?"
He was distinctly displeased to see his child in the care of a house elf. "What happened to the nanny? But that is beside the point." Lucius waved a hand. "What I would like to discuss is the past few months, and when you will return home."
"The nanny resigned." Narcissa latched onto the first question, ignoring his immediate dismissal of it. "I believe she felt service to death eaters beneath her, or perhaps simply too hazardous. I have been unable to find another. At least not one whom I'd allow my son to be alone with."
"Idiots," he hissed under his breath. "Well, that question should become irrelevant. I have been cleared of all charges by the Ministry. Rehabilitated, even." Lucius snorted indelicately.
"And have you 'rehabilitated' the Malfoy name yet?" she couldn't conceal the scorn in her tone. "It's rather harder to make people forget the charges, whether you've been cleared or not, and there will no doubt be a large cross-section of the wizarding community who believe the Ministry mistaken in clearing you. No doubt they'll believe you bought your freedom, which I have to assume you've done. Though I really don't know, as I haven't followed the news at all since I arrived in Italy."
"Gods above Narcissa," he snapped. "I did exactly what I had to do, both to preserve my family name and to protect our future. The Ministry ruled that I was under Imperius and not responsible for my actions. I don't give a damn what Muggle loving idiots like Arthur Weasley and Albus Dumbledore think about me or my release. I assure that any effect this has on society will be very temporary. People have short memories, and there will no doubt be something to distract them soon enough."
She reacted to the anger in his voice with a flaring of her own. She rose swiftly, so that she was staring down at him. The toll that recent events had taken on her was clear in the firelight reflecting from her features. "What you did was embroil your family in this fiasco in the first place, and blacken a name that had long stood unimpeachable. You also endangered the life of my child, and for that I may never forgive you."
"I have not done anything to shame my name other than have the misfortune to arrive home to a house full of magical law enforcement!" He was surprised to see the furrow between her eyes, the pinched look to her face. It was surprising to note that she wore the strain in her face. He had expected she would have made some effort to conceal it. But then, they didn't have much to hide from each other at this point. Lucius tilted his head back, unable to meet her gaze any longer.
"I notice that you don't even try to deny the danger you've placed Draco in. When you made the decision to involve yourself in all of this did you spare a thought for what might happen to him because of it? Or to myself for that matter?" She turned her back on him, pacing to the sideboard on the other side of the lounge to pour herself a cocktail. The fact that she'd picked up his habit of drinking alcohol when upset was a recent development, and one that she didn't want to consider too closely. It was not the most ladylike behavior.
"Draco, and by extension my family, would have been in far far more danger had I not made the alliances I did, something you should do well to remember." He was slightly surprised to see her drinking, as that was something she hadn't done before. She was always so fastidious before, he thought.
"And your failure to warn me about the danger I might be facing? Was that to protect me as well? Never mind what I might find myself faced with, all unsuspecting. Had you bothered to confide in me at least I would have known to be on my guard." Her back was rigid, her posture tense as she swallowed half of the contents of her tumbler. The burn of the liquor sliding down her throat brought an immediate warmth to her belly, a welcome counterpoint to the almost constant chill since that day at the Manor.
"It was my understanding that you did not want to know anything about that part of my life. You were very clear in your disapproval of your sister and your general distaste for politics." Lucius rose to his feet and approached her from behind. With a forced casualness, he poured himself a glass of pale golden liquid, watching the liquor fall slosh into the heavy crystal.
"My distaste for your choices does not preclude my need to protect my son and myself from the dangers it places us in. Details would have been unnecessary." She stepped away from him, discomforted by his proximity. Lucius smiled to himself, swirling his glass.
"You would make a fool of me to pretend to be so damned innocent. Surely at least this subject has come up with Severus?" he asked without looking at her. His cheeks flushed pink for a moment.
"Had Severus told me anything of the sort do you honestly believe I'd have remained silent about it? After eight years of marriage can you know me so little?" She shook her head angrily and crossed to the hearth, placing her now empty glass on the mantle and staring unseeing into the flames. "Severus is a dear friend, but still more yours than mine. He kept your secrets well. Perhaps I should be angry with him for that, but I'm not. If it hadn't been for his unstinting support in recent months I don't know what I'd have done."
"This is something that you have never cared to discuss with me before. I assumed that it was something you did not want to be involved with, and so... Still Narcissa it is slightly unfair of you to be so angry about this simply because I had the bad luck to get caught in the aftermath. You have never complained before about the benefits my status has given you." Lucius walked slowly back over to the sofa, and settled himself down with a sigh.He had realized the moment it left his lips that the word 'unfair' was poorly chosen. But Lucius had never been adept at considering others above himself, and he grimaced at Narcissa's furious response.
"It isn't something I care to be involved in Lucius, you have left me no choice!" Her voice rose and she winced at the shrillness she could not completely contain. "And do you have any idea how the aftermath you were caught in affected me? Did you stand there holding your screaming son while Aurors pawed through your private effects? Were you forced to watch helplessly while your spouse was attacked in his own home? Were you manhandled in the aftermath because of your Death Eater affiliation, and threatened, and browbeaten in your own home? Did you even stop to consider what happened to me in the wake of your arrest?"
"I am profoundly unhappy at what you've been put to, Narcissa, none of which I could have been aware of as you did not see fit to communicate any of this with me or respond to the lawyer. I had to rely on Severus for information as to your well being, and my son." Lucius passed a hand over his face, pinching at the bridge of his nose.
"Pardon me if I don't feel sympathy for you at the moment Lucius nor particularly guilty for my prolonged silence. Seeing to the welfare of Draco and myself took precedence, especially in light of your blatant disregard for our well being." Suddenly the anger that had been sustaining her disappeared, and all she felt was exhaustion. She perched on the edge of the nearest divan and closed her eyes briefly. "What is it exactly you hoped to achieve by coming here tonight? I'm too tired to continue our current discussion."
"I came here to bring you home, Narcissa. Because despite what you think of me at this moment, my family concerns me very deeply."
"Your trip was in vain then Lucius. I won't be returning home with you tonight, nor any night in the foreseeable future."
Lucius cursed viciously. "What exactly do you think you will achieve with this? Is it your intention to further punish me?"
"It is my intention to protect my son Lucius, and myself. Right now I don't feel safe in your home. Don't try to turn this around on me. You brought this on yourself and on me, all unknowing. If you feel you're being punished you might want to look to yourself for the cause."
Swallowing the last of his drink, Lucius slapped the glass down on a side table. "I was in Azkaban because for some unknown reason my wife allowed Aurors into my house. Azkaban, Narcissa! You have no idea what that is like. Whatever indignity you have endured in losing a nanny and being insulted by idiots, I assure you it was paltry in comparison!" His voice rose into a shout, and the flush was back in his cheeks.
"Allowed?" Her voice was most definitely shrill now. "You think I invited them in for tea?" Narcissa stood again, her renewed anger revitalizing her. "And as to the paltry insults and the lost nanny... You did that Lucius, not me. You brought all of this on yourself. Your son and your wife just happened to get caught in the crossfire. So pardon me if I don't have much pity left to spare you in this."
"The wards on the Manor are certainly enough to keep out the lackwits used in Ministry work, so I'm not certain how exactly they ended up in my home. As for what you think is such terrible suffering, you should count yourself lucky. Other people are dead. Your sister is in Azkaban for life because she's too stupid to think before she opens her mouth. I spent bloody months in a nightmare, and you had to deal with gossip. Gods!" Lucius stared at his wife in fury, surprise and some wounded pride. He hadn't expected things to be quite so bad.
"I should count myself lucky? Why is that Lucius? I didn't choose any of this. You chose for me, without even bothering to consult me on the matter. Those lackwits from the Ministry didn't knock, so I'm assuming whatever wards you had in place may need to be rechecked. And as for what I had to deal with... clearly you have no clue, nor do you seem to care. Go Lucius," she pointed at the doors leading to the terrace. "Come back when you figure out just what I endured, and maybe then we can talk. Until then I don't want to see you."
For several breaths, all Lucius did was stare at her. The temptation to do something unforgiving lurked close to the surface. He smoothed his face into a neutral mask. Narcissa's hand hung in the air, a challenge. Lucius rose slowly from the sofa, and reached for his cloak. With a stiff and formal bow to his wife, Lucius left the villa. It would be quite some time before he returned, he thought.
----------------------------------
Dear Severus,
I am angry, yes. Lucius' carelessness brought disaster down upon our family, and more than that he risked all our lives in the process. I remain unconvinced that he is repentant in any way. His recent visit did nothing to assuage my feelings on the matter. I find myself extremely reluctant to entertain the notion of returning to England at this time. While I'm certain that we could play at normalcy, I do not have the strength or desire for such a parade.
My thoughts are very much taken with my son at this time. Draco is fast growing, and I am certain he will be tall like his father. I hope that when he is of age, he will benefit from your guidance and show some of that restraint that I so admire in your person. My son will need role models of the sort that his father is unable to provide himself. For that I am very glad you have remained our friend all these years.
sincerely,
Narcissa Malfoy
Severus put the letter down on his desk and pinched at the bridge of his nose. This letter was far more composed than the hastily dashed one that caused him to leave Hogwarts without a word to anyone in November. Self imposed exile was not terribly arduous, but it was unkind for Narcissa. Deeply lonely, she continued to write to Severus and largely avoided the expatriate community in Italy. Without a nanny or household other than her house elves, she spent most of her time with Draco. It was starting to show, as she spoke in a far more personal tone about her child than she had before. Severus thought in the beginning she resented the boy, for being in the way and the cause of months lost in her social whirlwind. Just as she was stepping back into dinner parties and gatherings, the arrests forced her to turn back.
-----
November 1981
It was too much to expect Lucius to escape unscatched, but it seemed they both held out that hope. He could barely make out Narcissa's words, but the word Azkaban was clear. When he arrived at the Manor that dreary morning, Narcissa was pacing around the main sitting room carrying a screaming infant. The room was a shambles. Aurors had upended the furniture and disarranged everything in their quest to find some incriminating artifact in the house. He halted in the doorway, a dozen questions at the ready and all forestalled by the unusual scene.
"As soon as the Aurors left, the nanny quit and Draco hasn't stopped crying," Narcissa gasped. "She announced she couldn't be 'tainted' by an association with us." She almost spit the last words, anger causing her cheeks to turn pink. She immediately thrust the squalling boy into his arms and it was only a stroke of luck that he didn't drop the child onto the parquet floor. Narcissa began pacing the room once more, gesturing and talking so quickly he couldn't find a place to interrupt. After several attempts he gave up and summoned a house elf. Fortunately, the house elves were still there and one took Draco. Without the shrill noise, it was easier to calm Narcissa.
In a fit of fury and helplessness, Lucius had attempted an archaic summoning ritual to bring Voldemort back to the remaining free Death Eaters. They were unable to complete it though, leaving the question of Voldemort unanswered. Someone had been careless however, in taking Muggle victims and the Aurors caught wind of it. Before they finished the bloody work, Aurors arrived and things turned into a pitched battle between the two sides. No one could prove Lucius killed anyone, at least with his own wand. But he had injured at least three Aurors, one badly, and he had been recognized. It was more than enough for the Ministry. They were already waiting when Lucius apparated home, and after he was arrested they turned the Manor inside out searching. A full dozen Aurors stupefied him at once, and they were lucky not to have stunned Lucius into a coma. When Narcissa related the scene of his arrest, her voice cracked. Severus poured her a glass of water and tried to explain patiently that the situation was less terrible than it seemed. It felt awkward to be the adult, trying to focus her attention and pry out the events of the past few days. He stifled his impatience as best he could. Severus was too used to the long years of their acquaintance, and the friendship Lucius insisted they have. Narcissa was unfailingly kind, even when it might have gone against her inclination. It seemed there was something genuine in the contact now, for her to send for him and not her own family. He wondered if Bellatrix's arrest had severed her ties more completely, or if she just feared the shame of dealing with the Blacks in this moment. It made him pity her, this proud woman twisting the fabric of her skirts in her hands and it was a profoundly uncomfortable emotion. Severus focused on calming Narcissa enough to help her make some arrangements to leave the country. After they left for the family's house in Italy, he slumped down into one of Lucius' ridiculous and and ostentatious armchairs with a headache for a long time.
-----
Severus,
Your company isdemanded requested.
-Lucius
The second letter was less of a headache, and more of a churning uncertainty. Lucius was clearly in a foul mood, as evidenced by the terseness of his note. Severus rested his chin on the back of his hand. There wouldn't be free time until the Easter holidays, little more than a month away. Perhaps a weekend could be fitted into his schedule before that, but it would no doubt be too short to contain whatever temper Lucius had. Severus didn't relish the thought of informing Dumbledore as to his leaving either. While they had a very explicit understanding about the terms of his amnesty, it was a subject he did not care overmuch to broach. Far easier to remain here, with his books and supplies and dozens of inept and careless children. He sighed, turning the letter over in his hands. One of the Malfoy owls hunched over on the back of a chair, giving him an unsavory look and provoking curious looks from others in the Great Hall. The bird appeared disinclined to leave without an answer. Severus picked up a quill. He held it over the paper for a long moment, considering his response. He fastened the note carefully. The cranky eagle owl bit at his fingers for the delay and flapped away heavily. Severus privately cursed the Malfoy desire for distinctive possessions and turned back to his lunch with a distinct lack of appetite.
Lucius,
Regretfully I cannot indulge your demands at the moment even if I were so inclined to encourage poor behavior on your part. But I will arrange some leave where I can spend more than twenty four hours listening to you complain. I will write and inform you of the date.
-Severus
Author: tsarina amanda
Fandom - Pairing: Harry Potter; Lucius/Severus, Lucius/Narcissa
Rating: PG-13 for mention of violence
Archive: please ask
Feedback: always appreciated
Summary: Settling back into life is not as easy as Lucius imagined it to be, and more letters are written than actually sent.
Previous Chapter: January 1982
Alone for the first time in months, Lucius didn't quite know what to do with himself. It was glorious, and a bit empty. He paid a visit to Gringotts to deal with the family accounts, a tedious task only enjoyable because goblins didn't appear to give a damn about politics. The other few wizards he encountered were startled. Lucius ignored them easily. He avoided the Manor entirely, unwilling to deal with the looming silences in the halls. The house elves would continue to take care of it until the Malfoys returned. For the winter at least he would remain in Spain, Lucius thought. It was not too far to travel, and the weather was moderately more tolerable than home.
Dearest Narcissa,
I would be very glad for you to join me in Spain.
with great anticipation of your presence,
Lucius
Lunch was very public, in a restaurant he often patronized. It was an almost daily habit from before and Lucius settled back into it with some relief. The service was mercifully exact as always and aside from a few hushed conversations from time to time it could have been as if the past several months did not occur. Several of his father's friends stopped by Lucius' table and behaved as if he just returned from a long trip. Lucius smiled into his napkin, amused by the propensity of other wizards to ignore anything. As long as everyone looked exactly the way they should, and all the ugly wounds were nicely covered in silk and velvet things could proceed uninterrupted.
Narcissa,
Have we not endured this silence and separation long enough? Write to me, come to Spain, send some sign of life. There is much I would say.
fondly,
Lucius
After a couple days, the novelty of freedom waned. He was restless, bored. Lucius wrote letter after letter, and shut most of them in his desk rather than send them. Some of them he even burned. He paced the house, from room to room where no other creature stirred the air or moved the furniture. His temper was short, and Lucius took it out on the hapless former members of his group. He abused Rookwood and the others not in Azkaban late in the evening when they gathered in a still secret place. The other Death Eaters watched him nervously. Lucius knew he could not hold them the way Voldemort had, but he could at least cow them into silence and more circumspect behaviors. He watched them speak, and threatened them with a certain amount of malicious amusement. There were a few of their number who would no doubt remain in Azkaban, and a handful that might still be released. Lucius counted the faces gathered around the room and sighed.
My devoted wife,
One hopes you and our son are well. No news has reached us here, and we worry. Write soon and let us know when you will arrive.
in expectation,
your husband
There was a chill breeze coming off the water that whipped his cloak around his ankles. In early evening the house was lit up with golden light. Beyond, the coast and countryside were in darkness. Lucius smiled, remembering that they came here on their honeymoon. They were married in the spring as family tradition dictated. He could remember the way Narcissa lounged on the low stone wall, in pale blue skirts with her face turned up to the sun. It was one of his first big purchases, coming into ownership of the Malfoy assets and estates. His shoes clicked on the long stone terrace as he walked towards the open doors of the main sitting room.
Narcissa was seated on a long, low backed sofa, crooning softly, rocking Draco in her arms. She heard his footsteps, knowing that it could only be Lucius, and her entire body stiffened in response, tension flaring. The months since she'd seen him arrested in their home had not been the kindest, and she'd had to work quite hard to hide the lines of strain that had developed around her eyes. She had to force herself to relax when the baby started to fuss, sensing her tension and disturbed by it. Narcissa resumed rocking him, if a bit stiffly than before, and kept her eyes resolutely on her son. Lucius paused in the doorway, strangely reticent to interrupt the moment. It was still up in the air how she would receive him. It was probably a good sign she hadn't warded the house against him, and that nothing had leaped out to throw jinxes and hexes. He smiled to see Draco, making little noises and waving very small hands. Lucius wondered if he was walking on his own yet.
"Narcissa," he said quietly, stepping into the house. She sat up straighter when he spoke, but did not turn to greet him.
"Lucius." Her voice was strangely devoid of emotion, despite the various reactions fighting for supremacy internally. Part of her wanted to go to him, thankful that he was home safely, but the majority of her was furious that he'd put them in this position in the first place. She allowed Draco to roll over in her lap and crawl along the sofa, peering at his father curiously. She wondered how her son would react to him, after such a long absence.
"Do you want me to ask you how you are, or is that a conversation we're going to avoid entirely?" he asked. Lucius moved to the end of the sofa, reaching out to grasp one of Draco's hands. He looked up at Narcissa, the question only half in jest and the tone of his voice not quite as light as he intended. It was quite clear to him that this was not an entirely happy reunion. His hair hung down, and Draco grabbed at it with interest to work small fingers into the white blond strands. Wincing, Lucius tried to untangle it from his inquisitive child.
"Do you really need to ask that question?" she replied icily. Any sympathy she might have felt for him vanished with his flippant remarks. That he could even partially joke about the last few months of humiliation he'd caused her made her want to hex him. She snatched Draco away from him, blatantly disregarding his grasp on Lucius' hair, though she did note the rather prominent bags under his eyes, and the fact that he'd lost rather more weight than was healthy.
"Narcissa," he said in a voice both aggrieved and weary. "I simply thought it best not to dance around the subject like we're at a a garden party. The question is whether you're amenable to actually discussing this." He combed his hair back behind his ears and unclasped his cloak. His black robes had recently been tailored to fit better, but did not do much to hide his weight loss. Lucius combed his hair back behind his ears and settled on the opposite end of the sofa, entirely unsure of what tactic to take with his wife. Narcissa snapped her fingers and a house elf appeared at her elbow, relieving her of the baby and returning him to the nursery. She rather thought this conversation might communicate unpleasant vibes to her child, and she wanted to protect him as much as possible. When the house elf vanished she turned to face her husband, absently rearranging her robes.
"Precisely what is it that you wanted to discuss Lucius?"
He was distinctly displeased to see his child in the care of a house elf. "What happened to the nanny? But that is beside the point." Lucius waved a hand. "What I would like to discuss is the past few months, and when you will return home."
"The nanny resigned." Narcissa latched onto the first question, ignoring his immediate dismissal of it. "I believe she felt service to death eaters beneath her, or perhaps simply too hazardous. I have been unable to find another. At least not one whom I'd allow my son to be alone with."
"Idiots," he hissed under his breath. "Well, that question should become irrelevant. I have been cleared of all charges by the Ministry. Rehabilitated, even." Lucius snorted indelicately.
"And have you 'rehabilitated' the Malfoy name yet?" she couldn't conceal the scorn in her tone. "It's rather harder to make people forget the charges, whether you've been cleared or not, and there will no doubt be a large cross-section of the wizarding community who believe the Ministry mistaken in clearing you. No doubt they'll believe you bought your freedom, which I have to assume you've done. Though I really don't know, as I haven't followed the news at all since I arrived in Italy."
"Gods above Narcissa," he snapped. "I did exactly what I had to do, both to preserve my family name and to protect our future. The Ministry ruled that I was under Imperius and not responsible for my actions. I don't give a damn what Muggle loving idiots like Arthur Weasley and Albus Dumbledore think about me or my release. I assure that any effect this has on society will be very temporary. People have short memories, and there will no doubt be something to distract them soon enough."
She reacted to the anger in his voice with a flaring of her own. She rose swiftly, so that she was staring down at him. The toll that recent events had taken on her was clear in the firelight reflecting from her features. "What you did was embroil your family in this fiasco in the first place, and blacken a name that had long stood unimpeachable. You also endangered the life of my child, and for that I may never forgive you."
"I have not done anything to shame my name other than have the misfortune to arrive home to a house full of magical law enforcement!" He was surprised to see the furrow between her eyes, the pinched look to her face. It was surprising to note that she wore the strain in her face. He had expected she would have made some effort to conceal it. But then, they didn't have much to hide from each other at this point. Lucius tilted his head back, unable to meet her gaze any longer.
"I notice that you don't even try to deny the danger you've placed Draco in. When you made the decision to involve yourself in all of this did you spare a thought for what might happen to him because of it? Or to myself for that matter?" She turned her back on him, pacing to the sideboard on the other side of the lounge to pour herself a cocktail. The fact that she'd picked up his habit of drinking alcohol when upset was a recent development, and one that she didn't want to consider too closely. It was not the most ladylike behavior.
"Draco, and by extension my family, would have been in far far more danger had I not made the alliances I did, something you should do well to remember." He was slightly surprised to see her drinking, as that was something she hadn't done before. She was always so fastidious before, he thought.
"And your failure to warn me about the danger I might be facing? Was that to protect me as well? Never mind what I might find myself faced with, all unsuspecting. Had you bothered to confide in me at least I would have known to be on my guard." Her back was rigid, her posture tense as she swallowed half of the contents of her tumbler. The burn of the liquor sliding down her throat brought an immediate warmth to her belly, a welcome counterpoint to the almost constant chill since that day at the Manor.
"It was my understanding that you did not want to know anything about that part of my life. You were very clear in your disapproval of your sister and your general distaste for politics." Lucius rose to his feet and approached her from behind. With a forced casualness, he poured himself a glass of pale golden liquid, watching the liquor fall slosh into the heavy crystal.
"My distaste for your choices does not preclude my need to protect my son and myself from the dangers it places us in. Details would have been unnecessary." She stepped away from him, discomforted by his proximity. Lucius smiled to himself, swirling his glass.
"You would make a fool of me to pretend to be so damned innocent. Surely at least this subject has come up with Severus?" he asked without looking at her. His cheeks flushed pink for a moment.
"Had Severus told me anything of the sort do you honestly believe I'd have remained silent about it? After eight years of marriage can you know me so little?" She shook her head angrily and crossed to the hearth, placing her now empty glass on the mantle and staring unseeing into the flames. "Severus is a dear friend, but still more yours than mine. He kept your secrets well. Perhaps I should be angry with him for that, but I'm not. If it hadn't been for his unstinting support in recent months I don't know what I'd have done."
"This is something that you have never cared to discuss with me before. I assumed that it was something you did not want to be involved with, and so... Still Narcissa it is slightly unfair of you to be so angry about this simply because I had the bad luck to get caught in the aftermath. You have never complained before about the benefits my status has given you." Lucius walked slowly back over to the sofa, and settled himself down with a sigh.He had realized the moment it left his lips that the word 'unfair' was poorly chosen. But Lucius had never been adept at considering others above himself, and he grimaced at Narcissa's furious response.
"It isn't something I care to be involved in Lucius, you have left me no choice!" Her voice rose and she winced at the shrillness she could not completely contain. "And do you have any idea how the aftermath you were caught in affected me? Did you stand there holding your screaming son while Aurors pawed through your private effects? Were you forced to watch helplessly while your spouse was attacked in his own home? Were you manhandled in the aftermath because of your Death Eater affiliation, and threatened, and browbeaten in your own home? Did you even stop to consider what happened to me in the wake of your arrest?"
"I am profoundly unhappy at what you've been put to, Narcissa, none of which I could have been aware of as you did not see fit to communicate any of this with me or respond to the lawyer. I had to rely on Severus for information as to your well being, and my son." Lucius passed a hand over his face, pinching at the bridge of his nose.
"Pardon me if I don't feel sympathy for you at the moment Lucius nor particularly guilty for my prolonged silence. Seeing to the welfare of Draco and myself took precedence, especially in light of your blatant disregard for our well being." Suddenly the anger that had been sustaining her disappeared, and all she felt was exhaustion. She perched on the edge of the nearest divan and closed her eyes briefly. "What is it exactly you hoped to achieve by coming here tonight? I'm too tired to continue our current discussion."
"I came here to bring you home, Narcissa. Because despite what you think of me at this moment, my family concerns me very deeply."
"Your trip was in vain then Lucius. I won't be returning home with you tonight, nor any night in the foreseeable future."
Lucius cursed viciously. "What exactly do you think you will achieve with this? Is it your intention to further punish me?"
"It is my intention to protect my son Lucius, and myself. Right now I don't feel safe in your home. Don't try to turn this around on me. You brought this on yourself and on me, all unknowing. If you feel you're being punished you might want to look to yourself for the cause."
Swallowing the last of his drink, Lucius slapped the glass down on a side table. "I was in Azkaban because for some unknown reason my wife allowed Aurors into my house. Azkaban, Narcissa! You have no idea what that is like. Whatever indignity you have endured in losing a nanny and being insulted by idiots, I assure you it was paltry in comparison!" His voice rose into a shout, and the flush was back in his cheeks.
"Allowed?" Her voice was most definitely shrill now. "You think I invited them in for tea?" Narcissa stood again, her renewed anger revitalizing her. "And as to the paltry insults and the lost nanny... You did that Lucius, not me. You brought all of this on yourself. Your son and your wife just happened to get caught in the crossfire. So pardon me if I don't have much pity left to spare you in this."
"The wards on the Manor are certainly enough to keep out the lackwits used in Ministry work, so I'm not certain how exactly they ended up in my home. As for what you think is such terrible suffering, you should count yourself lucky. Other people are dead. Your sister is in Azkaban for life because she's too stupid to think before she opens her mouth. I spent bloody months in a nightmare, and you had to deal with gossip. Gods!" Lucius stared at his wife in fury, surprise and some wounded pride. He hadn't expected things to be quite so bad.
"I should count myself lucky? Why is that Lucius? I didn't choose any of this. You chose for me, without even bothering to consult me on the matter. Those lackwits from the Ministry didn't knock, so I'm assuming whatever wards you had in place may need to be rechecked. And as for what I had to deal with... clearly you have no clue, nor do you seem to care. Go Lucius," she pointed at the doors leading to the terrace. "Come back when you figure out just what I endured, and maybe then we can talk. Until then I don't want to see you."
For several breaths, all Lucius did was stare at her. The temptation to do something unforgiving lurked close to the surface. He smoothed his face into a neutral mask. Narcissa's hand hung in the air, a challenge. Lucius rose slowly from the sofa, and reached for his cloak. With a stiff and formal bow to his wife, Lucius left the villa. It would be quite some time before he returned, he thought.
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Dear Severus,
I am angry, yes. Lucius' carelessness brought disaster down upon our family, and more than that he risked all our lives in the process. I remain unconvinced that he is repentant in any way. His recent visit did nothing to assuage my feelings on the matter. I find myself extremely reluctant to entertain the notion of returning to England at this time. While I'm certain that we could play at normalcy, I do not have the strength or desire for such a parade.
My thoughts are very much taken with my son at this time. Draco is fast growing, and I am certain he will be tall like his father. I hope that when he is of age, he will benefit from your guidance and show some of that restraint that I so admire in your person. My son will need role models of the sort that his father is unable to provide himself. For that I am very glad you have remained our friend all these years.
sincerely,
Narcissa Malfoy
Severus put the letter down on his desk and pinched at the bridge of his nose. This letter was far more composed than the hastily dashed one that caused him to leave Hogwarts without a word to anyone in November. Self imposed exile was not terribly arduous, but it was unkind for Narcissa. Deeply lonely, she continued to write to Severus and largely avoided the expatriate community in Italy. Without a nanny or household other than her house elves, she spent most of her time with Draco. It was starting to show, as she spoke in a far more personal tone about her child than she had before. Severus thought in the beginning she resented the boy, for being in the way and the cause of months lost in her social whirlwind. Just as she was stepping back into dinner parties and gatherings, the arrests forced her to turn back.
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November 1981
It was too much to expect Lucius to escape unscatched, but it seemed they both held out that hope. He could barely make out Narcissa's words, but the word Azkaban was clear. When he arrived at the Manor that dreary morning, Narcissa was pacing around the main sitting room carrying a screaming infant. The room was a shambles. Aurors had upended the furniture and disarranged everything in their quest to find some incriminating artifact in the house. He halted in the doorway, a dozen questions at the ready and all forestalled by the unusual scene.
"As soon as the Aurors left, the nanny quit and Draco hasn't stopped crying," Narcissa gasped. "She announced she couldn't be 'tainted' by an association with us." She almost spit the last words, anger causing her cheeks to turn pink. She immediately thrust the squalling boy into his arms and it was only a stroke of luck that he didn't drop the child onto the parquet floor. Narcissa began pacing the room once more, gesturing and talking so quickly he couldn't find a place to interrupt. After several attempts he gave up and summoned a house elf. Fortunately, the house elves were still there and one took Draco. Without the shrill noise, it was easier to calm Narcissa.
In a fit of fury and helplessness, Lucius had attempted an archaic summoning ritual to bring Voldemort back to the remaining free Death Eaters. They were unable to complete it though, leaving the question of Voldemort unanswered. Someone had been careless however, in taking Muggle victims and the Aurors caught wind of it. Before they finished the bloody work, Aurors arrived and things turned into a pitched battle between the two sides. No one could prove Lucius killed anyone, at least with his own wand. But he had injured at least three Aurors, one badly, and he had been recognized. It was more than enough for the Ministry. They were already waiting when Lucius apparated home, and after he was arrested they turned the Manor inside out searching. A full dozen Aurors stupefied him at once, and they were lucky not to have stunned Lucius into a coma. When Narcissa related the scene of his arrest, her voice cracked. Severus poured her a glass of water and tried to explain patiently that the situation was less terrible than it seemed. It felt awkward to be the adult, trying to focus her attention and pry out the events of the past few days. He stifled his impatience as best he could. Severus was too used to the long years of their acquaintance, and the friendship Lucius insisted they have. Narcissa was unfailingly kind, even when it might have gone against her inclination. It seemed there was something genuine in the contact now, for her to send for him and not her own family. He wondered if Bellatrix's arrest had severed her ties more completely, or if she just feared the shame of dealing with the Blacks in this moment. It made him pity her, this proud woman twisting the fabric of her skirts in her hands and it was a profoundly uncomfortable emotion. Severus focused on calming Narcissa enough to help her make some arrangements to leave the country. After they left for the family's house in Italy, he slumped down into one of Lucius' ridiculous and and ostentatious armchairs with a headache for a long time.
-----
Severus,
Your company is
-Lucius
The second letter was less of a headache, and more of a churning uncertainty. Lucius was clearly in a foul mood, as evidenced by the terseness of his note. Severus rested his chin on the back of his hand. There wouldn't be free time until the Easter holidays, little more than a month away. Perhaps a weekend could be fitted into his schedule before that, but it would no doubt be too short to contain whatever temper Lucius had. Severus didn't relish the thought of informing Dumbledore as to his leaving either. While they had a very explicit understanding about the terms of his amnesty, it was a subject he did not care overmuch to broach. Far easier to remain here, with his books and supplies and dozens of inept and careless children. He sighed, turning the letter over in his hands. One of the Malfoy owls hunched over on the back of a chair, giving him an unsavory look and provoking curious looks from others in the Great Hall. The bird appeared disinclined to leave without an answer. Severus picked up a quill. He held it over the paper for a long moment, considering his response. He fastened the note carefully. The cranky eagle owl bit at his fingers for the delay and flapped away heavily. Severus privately cursed the Malfoy desire for distinctive possessions and turned back to his lunch with a distinct lack of appetite.
Lucius,
Regretfully I cannot indulge your demands at the moment even if I were so inclined to encourage poor behavior on your part. But I will arrange some leave where I can spend more than twenty four hours listening to you complain. I will write and inform you of the date.
-Severus
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