rules of the grocery store

[threeplusfire]

These are the rules I just made up, and I'm backing them up with this gun from the National Rifle Association!

- Who the hell writes a check at the grocery store these days? The twentieth century is calling and they have this thing called a check card...

- Who the hell writes a check at the grocery store these days that is going to bounce? I suppose people don't realize that the checks get scanned, and the computers talk to your bank. Standing there arguing with the checker and then a manager only makes you look like an idiot.

- Pushing your cart in front of a moving person and stopping makes you look like an idiot. Especially if there is no reason for this action.

- Having a screaming argument with your eight year old in the checkout line about whether she can look like whatever ninny singer is on the cover of Seventeen generally makes you look like an idiot.

- Standing in the frozen food aisle shouting Fuck in your deepest, manliest voice will not attract women and in fact makes you look like an idiot.

- Driving on the wrong side of the lanes in the parking lot makes you look like an idiot.

In other news, Wednesday is apparently a really bad day to go grocery shopping.

Comments

[rawumber.livejournal.com]

....er, I write checks....

[idadebeautreux.livejournal.com]

I still write checks, too :) I definitely would never use a check card.

But I do what I can to have the check made out as completely as possible (name, date, signed) when I get to the actual register so I just have to write in the amount.

[tsarina.livejournal.com]

Can you tell me why you would never use a check card?

[idadebeautreux.livejournal.com]

Too easy to overdraw your account if you're not paying good enough attention. I imagine many people do, and thus get slapped with fees - best way for a bank to make money. I'm seriously anal about keeping my checkbook balanced, which is easy to do when you're actually writing the check, and I know a check card would be so easy to swipe that I'd forget to record things - and then, all of a sudden, I'd find I'd done the equivalent of bouncing a check. That certainly doesn't look good when it shows up in a credit check, and that affects what sorts of loans I'd get if I ever buy another car or a house.

There really are reasons why so many young people are in horrendous debt, and check cards are just one more way the banks facilitate getting them, and keeping them, in debt.

I'm not saying that it's impossible for people to use a check card responsibly, or that most people can't - many do. But just as many - or more - don't.

Also, I assume check cards deduct money directly from your checking account, right? I try to limit the number of places where my bank routing and checking account numbers are recorded. The only place that has those is my place of employment for direct deposit of my paycheck. And I only have it set up that way because I actually live 200 miles away from the small 3-branch bank chain where I keep all my money! Definitely saves on postage and hassle of not mailing the paychecks to my mom to deposit for me every other week. I refuse to set up any utility bill or credit card payment with automatic payments deducted from my checking account, either - I'm sure as hell not giving other companies access to that information! It sounds like a good idea until you catch them in a screw up (and how many go unnoticed?) and find they've been deducting twice as much from your account as they should be, and you have to go through the hell of getting that money back from them. Having just had to go through months of hassle to get back $900 from a hospital who double-billed me, believe me, it is NOT an enjoyable way to spend my time. I just find that the fewer people and companies that know my checking account information, the safer my finances will be.

Besides, I <3 my checks! They've got dragons on them!

[tsarina.livejournal.com]

Woman, are you on the the dope? Get thee a check card of magicalness! :P (The wizard is pointing his finger at you) But I bet you don't write checks that bounce and argue with the clerk!

[rawumber.livejournal.com]

Actually I did one time because I had over a thousand dollars in the account and it was an 11 dollar check. AND. The guy told me it wasn't bouncing, just the machine sometimes didn't accept checks.

Which I thought was ridiculous. He was incompetent. And he refused to get a manager. I ended up leaving the store and never going back.

MORONS.

And I have one now it just. Gets lost sometimes. Because I'm kinda unorganized. And can not remember my pin number?

[tsarina.livejournal.com]

It's sad because I love to grocery shop and pick out things for the week, but I can't stand the other people in the store.

[richardzx.livejournal.com]

-- Standing in the frozen food aisle shouting Fuck in your deepest, manliest voice will not attract women and in fact makes you look like an idiot.

how do you know he was trying to attract women? maybe he was trying to attract some frozen food--i've heard they like idiots screaming FUCK. (especially the Frozen Peas, for some unknown reason!)

[tsarina.livejournal.com]

I'm really unsure what he was hoping to accomplish. It just struck me as not dissimilar to Discovery channel shows about how baboons attempt to attract mates by bellowing. I think it was that he seemed to be trying so strenuously for that deep, manly yell.

[n-o-m-i-c.livejournal.com]

I'm guessing that person didn't realize factoid #2.

Grocery stores fucking scare the shit out of me, mostly for the state of the gene pool. Judging by informal surveillance of grocery stores, idiots reproduce at alarmingly high rates in comparison with civil people. On the other hand, most of the non-breeders scare me, too.

Those grocery store outings also make me want to call my mother and thank her profusely for those spankings handed out in the HEB parking lot.

Hey, being someone who'd know, is spanking children (not viciously) still acceptable? I'm not exactly all about corporal punishment, but I plan on reproducing someday, and I'm curious if that's something that will lead to me making tea and crumpets for the nice CPS lady while convincing her I'm not a monster.

[tsarina.livejournal.com]

Spanking children is perfectly legal. Generally speaking, one should only spank with the hand and on the buttocks, back of the legs. If you spank the kid hard enough to leave bruises, that's a big no-no. If you spank the kid with an object, like say a belt, I make the frowny face but can't really do anything. If you whack your kid with the belt in the face, I made the really mean face and send out Chuck Norris to kick your ass. Okay, I'm kidding about Norris but that would be a serious problem.

Spanking is one of those grey areas. But so long as you don't overdo it, don't cause injuries and don't terrify the child with threats of physical punishment, you are all good.