cure of panic, patent pending

[threeplusfire]

When I was depressed, I cleaned my bathroom. In that first apartment I ever had, the bathroom was enormous. It was also blinding white and clean 99% of the time. I would get scared, sad, deathly ill, and I would lock myself in the bathroom. I scrubbed the tub, the counters, the toliet, the floor and the sink over and over. I windexed the ten foot long mirror. I spent an awful lot of time in that bathroom.

My last major depressive episode was in January, so I haven't really been scrubbing my bathroom as much. It's cluttered with clothes, jewelry, bath products, books, candles, mail and the things I carry with me to work. I tend to come home, strip and dump all my stuff on the floor. This is a bad habit. I really need to break down and buy a clothes hamper, and start keeping things more neat in there.

Tonight I discovered that scrubbing the bath tub works for mild anxiety. Provided I can focus enough to get started, it is very effective at helping me ride that out. It is another way not to have to take the pills. I don't think my anxiety induced scrubbing is quite as thorough and detailed, but it is still more cleaning than I did all weekend anyways. I took a shower in my scrubbed and bleached tub, and it was good. I bought boy soap too at the store today, another thing of comfort. I did manage to jab myself in the stomach though, requiring neosporin and a bandaid. Ouch.

Now I must debate if I go to bed early and go to work super early in the morning, or if I stay up late reading. Choices. I must also pick colors of yarn, for a very nice top brienze is making me. It will be super, super neat.

Things I need to acquire in the near future:
- yoga mat
- yoga pants
- something to keep the hair out of my face in silly yoga poses
- laundry hamper
- french press coffee pot
- coffee bean grinder
- various other stuff I keep forgetting

Comments

[brienze.livejournal.com]

I have a near-endless supply of 20% off coupons for Bed Bath and Beyond, if you need some... though Ikea could probably supply the housewares portion of your list equally well. *tempts*