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[threeplusfire]

Slept through twenty minutes of my alarm this morning, because in my dream I was having some long drawn out conversation. Put on clothes and left for church at my fastest speed ever. 5 minutes from bed to car.

But I made it, and got to see all of my friends at St Thomas More. The Sozas, Terri & his son, John, Father Elmer, Carol, Debra, all the smiling faces I missed in Prague. It's crazy how much I just missed smiling.

The Gospel this morning was the story of the good Samaritan, and Father Elmer spoke at length about how the church was more than just the word of God on high. It is about sharing our lives. It is about community, and being here for our neighbors, about giving our time and our hearts and our resources to helping each other. (Which is basically what I was saying to Kit last night at Mojos about why I felt happy in the Catholic Church) There was also a Rite of Welcoming for a new group of people enrolling in RCIA. As they stood in the aisles and the sponsors made the sign of the cross over them, I kept flashing back to where I stood two years ago. Steve took my number and said I'd get a call in a couple of weeks. They have another fifteen people coming into the program in September, and I will be sponsoring one of them on their faith journey. I'm so excited.

Visited my mom for a couple hours this morning. Helped her water the plants in the backyard, since she has hurt her back. Played with the kitties. Jacks is getting so big, he's a terror. Every now and then we would hear these terrible yowls when he would surprise one of the other cats. Later he slept curled up behind my knees on the couch.

Sadly, the divorce is not going as smoothly as I might have hoped. My father pulled some stupid thing where he is refusing to disclose his assets and debts in the divorce papers. Then he started calling my mother in the middle of the night, angry, drunk or both. He's even been showing up at the house. One morning he apparently scared my sister because he was crashing around in the kitchen. My mother had the locks changed, and he will probably flip out when he discovers this. Mom actually even said she was somewhat scared by his recent behaviour, and I felt my heart sink into my stomach. I'm scared too. I don't know what has happened to my father, what has changed so much to make him act this way. It's not the man I thought I knew.

I cried in the car driving home. It just hurts.

Time for something to eat. Maybe my big shiny tomato from the garden. Going to find something to read, have a quiet day.

Comments

[todfox.livejournal.com]

I'm jealous of fresh tomatoes. :)

The Samaritan is a really interesting story. I think to me it embodies a lot of the beauty of Jesus' teachings. In my own path, I have found that community is incredibly important to me -- maybe the most important thing there is. I think we're here on earth to touch other people's lives, in some fundamental way.

I'm sorry the divorce is painful -- we always hope that the people we care about will stay together forever, and if they do split we hope they'll to it with compassion and not fight or be bitter. That happens so rarely though.

Try to keep that happy smiling feeling. Enjoy your tomatoes.

its all about real vegetables

[tsarina.livejournal.com]

I can't wait to eat that tomato. One of my mom's friends has a garden and chickens, so sometimes I get some yummy fresh eggs or vegetables. She has special chickens that lay eggs with green shells. I have no idea why.

My parents probably should have seperated long ago. I think it is the shock of actually seeing it happen now that bothers me. I just want it to be finished, and I want the fighting minimized. When it is over, maybe it will be easier to think about.

In the meantime, I'm going to imitate the cat and go sprawl on the carpet and listen to cds. :)

[jengirl.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

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[tsarina.livejournal.com]

thanks. :)

[tinywarrior.livejournal.com]

Hang in there! And try to remember what we talked about...letting go of things...letting things settle over time into new rhythms. It will get better, maybe a few years from now, but it will be better. In the meantime, if your dad gets too scary weird, your mom may want to consider getting a protective order. Let me know if you think it's going that way and I can let you know where she needs to go for all that. Email me if you need to, dear. : )

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[tsarina.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I try to stay out of the whole mess as much as I can. I was hoping all this would be done with by the time I came back home. Oh well.

Thanks Cate, for everything. :)

[decimal.livejournal.com]

It's hard seeing an unkind facet of any member of one's family, as both your journal and mine testify. Since I don't know much about the situation, I can only hope that the actions your father has displayed are completely temporary reactions to the divorce. Such proceedings are scary and tend to bring out the worst in people - greed, deceit, and anger. Just remember how your parents have been through most of your life; likely they were supportive and loving.

You've done well in writing about your frustration. Sometimes that is the only peaceful way that such emotions can be displayed.

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[tsarina.livejournal.com]

I wish that I could say my father's anger was something brought on by the events of the past four months. But it's been coming for a long time. It makes me sad to know how much he has changed, how part of him just shut down and stopped connecting to his family.

Though I've learned it's not something I can discuss with him, and it is far better to write it out of my head.

I hope your sister gets better, and that things with her become less strained.

[day.livejournal.com]

late late, I know. *hugs* I hope this all turns out ok in the end.

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[tsarina.livejournal.com]

Me too. I just want it all to be finished so we can stop fighting about it. Never thought I would see my father behave more immaturely than myself.

*hugs* to you too. How have you been? I've been thinking about you.