(no subject)
Nov. 9th, 2008 01:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
threeplusfireIt's voting time again, so if you would like me to continue cranking out LJ Idol essays please vote for me. It also boosts my self esteem, pays my mortgage and keeps me off the crack. (Well, not really, that's just the narcotics talking.) This is my seventh week entry here.
I'm in the second group, tribe rm: http://community.livejournal.com/therealljidol/197684.html
(All of my LJ Idol entries are sorted under my memories over here too.)
I don't know if this is a side effect of the surgery, the medication or just some quirk of life but the consistency is getting strange. When I wake up, there's no transition between waking and sleeping. One moment I'm slumbering in dreams and the next I'm sitting up wide awake. Sleep is nice, but would be better if I didn't wake up in such discomfort.
One of the reasons I was sobbing uncontrollably in post-op and pissing off my nurse was because the visceral memories slammed into me without warning. I kept having flashbacks to being in the hospital after my overdose - the heart monitor on my hand, the blood pressure cuff, the IV needles, the burning terrible pain in my throat from where it was shredded during the ambulance ride.
When I take pills like the stupid antibiotic, they get stuck and I panic. I can feel my throat starting to scab over in the back. It is so repulsive a sensation that I want to jam a toothbrush in there and scrape it all out. Ugh.
Talking hurts, and I have all this referred pain into my jawline and my ears and my neck.
I'm in the second group, tribe rm: http://community.livejournal.com/therealljidol/197684.html
(All of my LJ Idol entries are sorted under my memories over here too.)
I don't know if this is a side effect of the surgery, the medication or just some quirk of life but the consistency is getting strange. When I wake up, there's no transition between waking and sleeping. One moment I'm slumbering in dreams and the next I'm sitting up wide awake. Sleep is nice, but would be better if I didn't wake up in such discomfort.
One of the reasons I was sobbing uncontrollably in post-op and pissing off my nurse was because the visceral memories slammed into me without warning. I kept having flashbacks to being in the hospital after my overdose - the heart monitor on my hand, the blood pressure cuff, the IV needles, the burning terrible pain in my throat from where it was shredded during the ambulance ride.
When I take pills like the stupid antibiotic, they get stuck and I panic. I can feel my throat starting to scab over in the back. It is so repulsive a sensation that I want to jam a toothbrush in there and scrape it all out. Ugh.
Talking hurts, and I have all this referred pain into my jawline and my ears and my neck.
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no subject
Date: 2008-11-09 11:04 pm (UTC)I have no useful input, but I'll keep thinking healthy thoughts at you.