Jane's Due Process

[threeplusfire]

http://open.salon.com/blog/steelrigged/2009/06/02/i_helped_teenagers_get_secret_abortions

I know I am helping the right-wing make something private into something shameful by being discrete. But I don’t have a T.V. show, I don’t have security guards, all I have is the residual fear that somewhere there is a man with a gun, looking for our office, who is absolutely certain he has the right to shoot me, because I help teenagers get abortions.

Jane's Due Process - http://www.janesdueprocess.org/

I am thinking about volunteering for this group. I have no legal skills or training, but I do know how to talk to upset people on the phone. Of all the things I've done in my life, I am wondering if volunteering at clinics and for groups like this will be the most dangerous one. (My volunteer orientation for Planned Parenthood is next month)

I am also starting to wonder how this, and how my messy, complex gender identity crisis, will change my friendships and my life. My livejournal has not been exceptionally funny or lighthearted in the past couple weeks. If I feel some outrage fatigue on the subject, that probably goes double for anyone reading. Not to mention, is there a weird disconnect between identifying as male and being so wrapped up in the cause of women's rights over their reproductive health and choices? I don't know. Is it frivolous to be wishing I had a more gender neutral name at such a time? What am I going to say when someone does cut me out of their life because of all of this? Should I finally go ahead and take that hand gun class, get a concealed carry license?

It is strange, to feel all of this converging at once.

Comments

[sykii.livejournal.com]

Speaking only for myself, it has been refreshing to see someone eloquently outraged about this when all I am, somehow, is tired and out of words for it.
I don't think there's any contradiction at all in caring deeply about women's rights while recognizing that one's gender identity isn't female. All men should be feminists; it's in your own best interest, because the patriarchy hurts men, too. There is also the fact that, as you present yourself right now, most of the world treats you as a woman, and as such, you are invested in the lot of women. And even should that presentation change, you, being a decent human being, will continue to care.
For what it's worth (again speaking only for myself), the information about your gender identity is more of a "oh, so that's what that is" rather than a big shock or surprise. You are my friend. If there are changes of pronouns or names that need to happen, cool; just let us know.
Of course, this being the internet, I mostly picture you as either a swimming pool, an owl, or pie, which renders the question of gender somewhat moot ;)

[kythryne.livejournal.com]

Yes, this. All of it.

Also, if you want, I suspect Amy would be happy to talk with you about gender stuff. Having lived on both sides of it and now settled in the middle, she's got some interesting perspectives on the matter. Let me know if you'd like me to put the two of you in contact.

[tsarina.livejournal.com]

That would be nice. I would like that.

[tsarina.livejournal.com]

You know, if I could just be three random things, a pool, an owl and a pie is one of the best combos ever.

Thank you for being a friend.

[delchi.livejournal.com]

"it's in your own best interest, because the patriarchy hurts men, too."

Thank you.

[alainn-sorcha.livejournal.com]

I don't know if I'll express this very well.

I find the idea that gender is binary to be as limiting as the idea that sexuality is binary. If you aren't female, therefore you are male seems too simple. Yes, you identify as male. But you also have a uterus and ovaries and have lived with them for 29 years now. Their existence forms part of your identity, whatever label you use to describe it. And anyway, there's nothing that says men can't be passionate and concerned about women's health issues. They have mothers, sisters, wives, daughters.

You are my family (part of the best one--the one I chose) and that's all that matters to me. If you want me to start calling you Henry, I will and I'll love you just as much.

[wonderlandkat.livejournal.com]

I've been really upset about the subject but I'm not sure what to do- find out how to be an escort, what?

[tsarina.livejournal.com]

I started by doing a google search for all the providers in the city, and looked to see who had information available about volunteer opportunities. Planned Parenthood had orientation sessions so that seemed like a good way to start.

[delchi.livejournal.com]

It's not that hard. A little training and an orange vest. The training is important though - as is the ability to control yourself. I was a clinic escort back in the days of throwing red fake blood and fake fetus-in-a-jar at people.

[wonderlandkat.livejournal.com]

Oh, it was more "is being an escort the best/most useful thing to do" question. I've been reading "This Common Secret" and it strikes me that a lot of the petty laws thrown in are just as dangerous as the protestors.

[delchi.livejournal.com]

For me, the first time a woman looked me in the face, and said 'Thank you' as I shielded her from the people throwing things and hate at her as she walked to the front door convinced me that it was the right thing to do.

As far as the laws go, yes it's tricky - and that's what the training is for. Still, for the most part if you put yourself physically in the way of the protester, back turned to them while protecting and escorting your assigned person , there's not much that they can throw at you. It's mostly common sense and street sense. You don't yell back at them , you don't engage them, you NEVER attack back. Your #1 responsibility is the safety of the person you are escorting - because in most cases ( but not all ) they are having enough of a time just by the fact that they are there ( for whatever reason ) to think clearly.

Orange vest, thick gloves, goggles , combat boots. Although I have to admit I had an advantage as I am male , and rather large. More often than not protesters would back down from just a dirty look.

It's not easy. You want to slap the book out of their hands, or shove them around. You want to yell at them , or sometimes when you see the tears and fear in the eyes of the person you are escorting you want to slap the living hell out of the protesters. You can't ever do that. The advantages you have are property lines, other escorts, and now more than before , police officers.

[wonderlandkat.livejournal.com]

I must have been on the super unclear juice last night. My question was really is being an escort the most effective thing that I can do or is there something more effective, like working to overturn 24 waiting periods or laws where the doctor has to say that abortion causes breast cancer when it doesn't. Basically, based on my skills and inclinations, what can I do that would be most useful in keeping abortion available to women.

I'm actualy leaning towards something else at this point because in my area, PP needs escorting only very early on Saturday mornings and I don't think that's something I could personally do well.

[delchi.livejournal.com]

Everything helps.

[tsarina.livejournal.com]

I think anything helps - perhaps the best way to decide is to look at your skills and your time. What can you do with them? What can you commit to, what is going to work best in your schedule?

[eroticcakejob.livejournal.com]

I think being pro-choice and expressing that gender is fluid go hand in hand.
People should be free to do what they choose with their minds/bodies/identities.
You are preaching to the choir with me, though.

I am happy to know you and proud to be an ally.

[violetisblue.livejournal.com]

"Not to mention, is there a weird disconnect between identifying as male and being so wrapped up in the cause of women's rights over their reproductive health and choices?"

Why should there be? This is a human issue, not just a (self-identified) women's issue; anyone who thinks the politicized legislation of medical procedures and the use of so-called "conscience" as a sledgehammer will ultimately only affect women is at best naive.

"Is it frivolous to be wishing I had a more gender neutral name at such a time?"

Names are important. They're part of how we show ourselves to the world just as much as our gender presentation. If "small" decisions weren't made large by politicization then boys could freely wear pink and take dance lessons without living in constant fear of being beaten up and having everyone from their classmates to the media applaud it.

"What am I going to say when someone does cut me out of their life because of all of this?"

In some cases, probably "Good riddance."

[brienze.livejournal.com]

I don't think it's a disconnect at all -- these issues pertain to the body you're living in. And I think it would be great if you could repurpose your skills at talking to upset people on the phone. I was always amazed that the content of your job didn't drive you around the bend, but hopefully supervisors/administrators in this line of work are a lot more client-oriented and a lot less petty bureaucrats.

I haven't replied much to your recent posts, but that's not because I'm uncomfortable with who you are or wouldn't want to still hang out with you. I don't talk much about my own issues, so it's just hard to find anything to say. Gender and sexuality and holding strong feelings about them are just entirely alien... I read porn on the internet as sociological texts. =P

[tsarina.livejournal.com]

Sociological porn! Hahahah. Now I have to find an excuse to write some fic in which the characters end up doing it on a big table covered in statistics research. :P

[delchi.livejournal.com]

My brain is already cooking on that one :)

[rm.livejournal.com]

This will be one of the most horrible things I ever say to you:

You matter more than other people's affection.

As to getting a concealed carry permit, the biggest danger of carrying a weapon is having it used against you. If that's something you want or need, I feel pretty strongly that you need to do a lot more than just get that permit and that weapon. You don't just need to know how to use a gun (which I know you do) to carry one, you need to know how to keep possession of it.

[tsarina.livejournal.com]

I don't know - surely there have been more horrible things somewhere!

I think holding on to a gun needs to be a stronger component of gun education/safety in general. A person probably shouldn't carry a handgun if you can't hang onto it while being punched in the face.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but I was pissed and justified ;)

[delchi.livejournal.com]

This is a really good point. Having taken several (dozen) handgun classes this is one of the things that they mention over and over. From a personal point of view , I'd love to go to the range with you and take classes and such. I'd support the choice you made - but it's alot of consideration. I started out with just owning and getting used to carrying to and from the range. Carrying on a dialy basis is a whole other ball game with a twisty turny series of laws and rules that can make it very complicated. I can't get a carry permit here ( NY/NJ gun laws .. Iv'e got a better chance of ... nevermind heheh ... ) but if I ever end up in Nevada again it's quite easy.

Anyway back on track , anyone can loose a handgun if they are punched in the face , hit with a brick or so on. The proper use and deployment or LACK of deployment can prevent this. Don't let anyone tell you " Oh because you are $X you are vulnerable to having it taken away ". Lack of confidence, training, bad timing or bad luck can give someone a chance to disarm you.

In order to use deadly force, the person attacking you must meet specific criteria. If you follow this , then you will have time ad distance that should prevent the attacker from disarming you , and if they attempt to you will have ample time to , well, stop them.

Training is the most important thing. Training is more than just going to the range and target shooting. Training in scenario based situations with simulated weapons is just as important.

[tsarina.livejournal.com]

I think the two of us would scare the bejesus out of the other patrons at the gun range. Hee! I can picture it now.

It's been a long time since I had a gun of my own. I think owning one and becoming used to it again is a very good first step.

[delchi.livejournal.com]

PS : Check out if there is a " Pink Pistols " group nearby. They are an org. that provides handgun training for the GBLT community.

[ladyofthelog.livejournal.com]

I think holding on to a gun needs to be a stronger component of gun education/safety in general.

This is one of the few reasons that have held me back in terms of owning a gun and having a concealed carry permit. My ex-bf taught me how to shoot and had a permit, but that was also in Tennessee, where everyone does. I imagine there should be plenty of support, in terms of classes, etc, where you are.

[alteredhistory.livejournal.com]

> Not to mention, is there a weird disconnect between identifying
> as male and being so wrapped up in the cause of women's rights
> over their reproductive health and choices?

You would not be the first man to want a say in the life of a child, nor the first to have an opinion about whether a baby should be carried to term or not. Indeed, your position is lucky in that you don't risk every woman in the room turning to you and saying, "Why the hell do you think you get to express an opinion, male?" And there are plenty of men who have contemplated the possibility of getting pregnant and raising children. So, no, I don't think there's a weird disconnect.