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threeplusfire) wrote2011-02-09 08:03 pm
threeplusfire) wrote2011-02-09 08:03 pm
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
More meme writing. I find it oddly clarifying as a writing exercise. Sometimes I feel like my brain is full of white noise and static that I need to sweep out before I can settle into the real work.
It's frigid, absolutely frigid. I walked to the mail box, which would have been fine except I had no pockets and my hands burned in the wind. There were four dozen grackles feasting in two yards across the street. Just two yards. I wonder why. If they were just trying to stay close or if something had turned loose a large number of insects. I don't usually see such a large number all at once in a yard. They tend to cluster in other places.
1. Is it just a normal headache or is it a brain tumor? Does a normal head feel like this? Do people feel this way? Am I being neurotic about nothing? Am I going to die at the next twinge? (Generally these thoughts run through super fast, blurring into one long, painful, ridiculous and haunting thought. Yes, I really think about this every day.)
2. What is the very best swear word I can use to describe the person who parked badly/rammed me with their grocery cart/was rude to the cashier/did something appalling in my presence? (I think about swearing a lot. Lately I've pondered the gender inferences of many curses.)
3. Am I ever going to finish this story? (Sometimes I don't know where the end is going. Actually often. I develop these small moments, these character quirks or scenes or images in such relentless detail that I forget entirely what the plot should be. If there was even a plot to start with! Often there is not.)
4. I need to clean something. (My housekeeping skills are mediocre. I am often indifferent until I discover I actually care about how clean the windows are and whether I can get them clean without streaks. When I was depressed, I would sometimes clean my bathroom obsessively and usually in the middle of the night when I had trouble sleeping. It is harder to indulge in these weird habits when living with someone else. Also, I am not depressed like that any more.)
5. What should I eat? (I like the mulling over possibilities of food. I like reading cookbooks and trying to figure out if I am going to make that recipe or alter it into something else. Oddly, choosing food in restaurants is almost paralyzing because I feel like I absolutely must order the best most perfect thing. I think that comes from not eating out much as a kid and feeling like I had limited chances to have what I thought were grand meals that I would never get at home. My mother was a somewhat indifferent cook. I learned to cook in order to make things I wanted to eat.)
6. You are wasting time again. (I chastise myself a lot, in a way that is probably not the most healthy. But I am incredibly skilled at procrastinating right until the last minute. I blame journalism and writing to deadlines and competition for shaping my writing habits this way, and my habitual laziness for not changing it. This also applies to avoiding household chores, exercise or doing errands. It is probably also related to superstitious habits of avoidance I've had all my life.)
7. I cannot fucking believe what I am reading/seeing/hearing right this moment. (This is often what I think while reading the news every day. Despite working in social services, despite all kinds of knowledge and experience, I still have the capacity to be shocked and horrified by the actions of other people. Especially the actions of people in my government, or any position of power really. I also retain the ability to be horrified by the soul crushing stupidity and willful ignorance of ordinary people. I thought there wasn't anything left that could shock me after working a hotline for reporting abuse to children, the elderly and the disabled. Oh what a naive, foolish notion that turned out to be!)
Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win my heart.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever).
Day Seven: Four turn-offs.
Day Eight: Three turn-ons.
Day Nine: Two images that describe your life right now, and why.
Day Ten: One moment
It's frigid, absolutely frigid. I walked to the mail box, which would have been fine except I had no pockets and my hands burned in the wind. There were four dozen grackles feasting in two yards across the street. Just two yards. I wonder why. If they were just trying to stay close or if something had turned loose a large number of insects. I don't usually see such a large number all at once in a yard. They tend to cluster in other places.
1. Is it just a normal headache or is it a brain tumor? Does a normal head feel like this? Do people feel this way? Am I being neurotic about nothing? Am I going to die at the next twinge? (Generally these thoughts run through super fast, blurring into one long, painful, ridiculous and haunting thought. Yes, I really think about this every day.)
2. What is the very best swear word I can use to describe the person who parked badly/rammed me with their grocery cart/was rude to the cashier/did something appalling in my presence? (I think about swearing a lot. Lately I've pondered the gender inferences of many curses.)
3. Am I ever going to finish this story? (Sometimes I don't know where the end is going. Actually often. I develop these small moments, these character quirks or scenes or images in such relentless detail that I forget entirely what the plot should be. If there was even a plot to start with! Often there is not.)
4. I need to clean something. (My housekeeping skills are mediocre. I am often indifferent until I discover I actually care about how clean the windows are and whether I can get them clean without streaks. When I was depressed, I would sometimes clean my bathroom obsessively and usually in the middle of the night when I had trouble sleeping. It is harder to indulge in these weird habits when living with someone else. Also, I am not depressed like that any more.)
5. What should I eat? (I like the mulling over possibilities of food. I like reading cookbooks and trying to figure out if I am going to make that recipe or alter it into something else. Oddly, choosing food in restaurants is almost paralyzing because I feel like I absolutely must order the best most perfect thing. I think that comes from not eating out much as a kid and feeling like I had limited chances to have what I thought were grand meals that I would never get at home. My mother was a somewhat indifferent cook. I learned to cook in order to make things I wanted to eat.)
6. You are wasting time again. (I chastise myself a lot, in a way that is probably not the most healthy. But I am incredibly skilled at procrastinating right until the last minute. I blame journalism and writing to deadlines and competition for shaping my writing habits this way, and my habitual laziness for not changing it. This also applies to avoiding household chores, exercise or doing errands. It is probably also related to superstitious habits of avoidance I've had all my life.)
7. I cannot fucking believe what I am reading/seeing/hearing right this moment. (This is often what I think while reading the news every day. Despite working in social services, despite all kinds of knowledge and experience, I still have the capacity to be shocked and horrified by the actions of other people. Especially the actions of people in my government, or any position of power really. I also retain the ability to be horrified by the soul crushing stupidity and willful ignorance of ordinary people. I thought there wasn't anything left that could shock me after working a hotline for reporting abuse to children, the elderly and the disabled. Oh what a naive, foolish notion that turned out to be!)
Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win my heart.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever).
Day Seven: Four turn-offs.
Day Eight: Three turn-ons.
Day Nine: Two images that describe your life right now, and why.
Day Ten: One moment
no subject
i'm reading this book called the return of quetzalcoatl... i think you'd like it. maybe? i don't know much about you're reading style.. 50 cent words all over the place (i'm not sure if you're a fellow word nerd but it seems like you may be), their usage lovingly contemplated, and aptly expressed. all while pontificating on the current plight of humanity (and our outcome). this it not one of those silly scare-the-shit-out-of-you 2012 books... it's turning out to be insanely thought provoking and enlightening.. and hopeful. though makes me a little uneasy...
no subject
I love a good word and always enjoy a book recommendation. I'll check that one out the next time I'm book hunting. My habits are mostly fiction over nonfiction but I have a penchant for biographies and niche history. I like science fiction and fantasy and Slavic literature the most. I've tried to keep track of my reading habits the past couple years.