(no subject)

[threeplusfire]

Not having a computer is driving me insane. I need a functional computer. Right now. I am sick of going to labs or borrowing Melynda's.

I suppose I should try to remember the things that make me happy instead of brooding.. I don't know. Is it all chemical?

Sparrows. Little groups of sparrows hopping on the ground.

When I'm in the car, I think about driving. About just driving on without stopping until I am far, far away. This is not a new thought. It's been there since I started driving in 97. The desire to go somewhere else and start completely over.

I think what drives me crazy is that this is my only life. I will never be anyone else. I will never grow up another way or live out something completely different. As a kid you're told you can be anything, the possibilities are endless. Now it's all so finite. I feel trapped, in my head, in my body.

So damn tired.

Comments

[nnnslogan.livejournal.com]

You could come over here and use one of our computers.

Re:

[tsarina.livejournal.com]

Thank you muchly for your offer. I must find a way to get a computer of my own soon, before I go insane and have a card sliced into my brain so I can be online always. ;)

Re:

[nnnslogan.livejournal.com]

Do you have money allocated for one? Pricewatch has fantastic deals on computers.

Re:

[tsarina.livejournal.com]

I have no money. So it will be a chancy things/ We shall see.

[pepper23.livejournal.com]

Move to Brooklyn. It's an awesome place! Maybe we can trade? Don't you live out west? I love the desert.

Re:

[tsarina.livejournal.com]

I live in Texas, not quite the desert part. But you could visit my grandmother in Amarillo. It's dusty up there. ;)

Yes indeed let's trade. Brooklyn sounds grand.

[water-damage.livejournal.com]

I feel trapped too. At least we aren't trapped on death row or something. :-D

Re:

[tsarina.livejournal.com]

Very true. We can at least go outside and play. Which sounds like a fine idea...

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[water-damage.livejournal.com]

there's all that school to escape as well.

[tamperevident.livejournal.com]

well, its kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy... if you think you can -- you can...

i know what feeling trapped feels like. i also know what the opposite of that feels like. everything in-between depends on your state of mind...

Re:

[tsarina.livejournal.com]

it's all about the mind. and perhaps that is the most vexing thing of all, dealing with one's own mind.