tell me goodbye
Sep. 3rd, 2013 10:10 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
threeplusfireI genuinely do not know what we would have done without the kindness of my father's former coworkers. Some of the guys came to the apartment today, with a big flat bed work truck. They loaded everything, making two trips for us. There is no way in hell I would have been able to physically shift all that stuff, even with Mike. Not to mention having a vehicle that would hold everything.
The only thing getting me through this is the kindness and care of other people. My father's friends who helped me shift things and arranged the wake on Saturday. My friends who brought me food, drove me places, listened to me, bought me drinks at the bar. Mike, who has done so much work while I stood there being crazy and lost and overwhelmed. Everyone who has commented on the posts here or emailed me. You guys have been with me here for thirteen years now and you've seen me at every stage of every crazy, out of control moment of joy and despair and you're still here. Thank you. I know it is so hard to think of anything to say. Every little digital letter was a glowing sign to a world I could get back to, eventually.
Today we found a lawyer to help handle all the goddamned paperwork involved with death. Hint, it's crazy. Don't die. There's too much work involved in it. If you are going to die, make sure you have a will or someone knows what to do.
We also picked up my father's guitar from the music store.
He put it up for consignment last year. The guy at the shop said it attracted a lot of attention but it is an expensive instrument. From 1950, an original Epiphone Emperor Regent with hand cut inlays in the neck. The guitar is actually older than my father. Maybe I'll relearn to play on it. Maybe I'll just make Mike cover my favorite 70's rock songs on it. Someone owed him money, and gave him a guitar instead. He kept it all these years. I wonder if he ever played it. Like so many things, I have no answer.
Right now I'm just listening to my favorite K-Pop songs while I calm down for bed. My sleep is full of nightmares and broken by waking up to worry about things that need to be done. I'm so tired. I can't wait to get on a plane and not have anything to do for a few hours on Thursday.
The only thing getting me through this is the kindness and care of other people. My father's friends who helped me shift things and arranged the wake on Saturday. My friends who brought me food, drove me places, listened to me, bought me drinks at the bar. Mike, who has done so much work while I stood there being crazy and lost and overwhelmed. Everyone who has commented on the posts here or emailed me. You guys have been with me here for thirteen years now and you've seen me at every stage of every crazy, out of control moment of joy and despair and you're still here. Thank you. I know it is so hard to think of anything to say. Every little digital letter was a glowing sign to a world I could get back to, eventually.
Today we found a lawyer to help handle all the goddamned paperwork involved with death. Hint, it's crazy. Don't die. There's too much work involved in it. If you are going to die, make sure you have a will or someone knows what to do.
We also picked up my father's guitar from the music store.
He put it up for consignment last year. The guy at the shop said it attracted a lot of attention but it is an expensive instrument. From 1950, an original Epiphone Emperor Regent with hand cut inlays in the neck. The guitar is actually older than my father. Maybe I'll relearn to play on it. Maybe I'll just make Mike cover my favorite 70's rock songs on it. Someone owed him money, and gave him a guitar instead. He kept it all these years. I wonder if he ever played it. Like so many things, I have no answer.
Right now I'm just listening to my favorite K-Pop songs while I calm down for bed. My sleep is full of nightmares and broken by waking up to worry about things that need to be done. I'm so tired. I can't wait to get on a plane and not have anything to do for a few hours on Thursday.
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no subject
Date: 2013-09-04 04:58 am (UTC)also terrific is that guitar; I hope you (or Mike) enjoy playing that beautiful instrument
take care of yourself; I'm thinking of you
<3
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Date: 2013-09-04 01:31 pm (UTC)Thank you.
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Date: 2013-09-04 09:43 am (UTC)As for the guitar, I think at least one youtube video of you duckwalking is a requirement.
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Date: 2013-09-04 01:33 pm (UTC)Hah! I'm going to have to convince Mike to do a really awesome cover and put up a video.
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Date: 2013-09-04 02:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-09-04 11:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-09-04 01:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-09-04 12:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-09-04 01:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-09-04 01:52 pm (UTC)If you get me the serial # of the guitar (either peek inside the F holes for a tag or look at the back of the headstock) I can give you a general idea of what it's worth and what year it's from. I know my vintage gear and you've got something very special there. I realize you're not looking to sell but I think it's important you know what you have. But I'm a guitar nerd so of course I do. :-)
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Date: 2013-09-04 04:26 pm (UTC)And I agree with your first point :)
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Date: 2013-09-04 08:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-09-04 10:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-09-05 05:32 am (UTC)I have been unable to locate any serial number on or inside the guitar. Maybe there was a tag inside that fell off?
I made a vine of some of the details, if that helps: https://vine.co/v/hJMTKtEv1lK
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Date: 2013-09-05 03:50 pm (UTC)The thing that has us perplexed are the tone/volume knobs as they're not standard. Perhaps the originals wore out. This, unfortunately, lowers the value of the guitar (for a collector).
Without the serial #, we'd need to inspect it in person to make a real appraisal. I've sent the vine and photo to my expert friend and he'll get back to me with a general assessment. At first glance he figured around $2500.
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Date: 2013-09-05 04:03 pm (UTC)Yeah, the consignment shop price tag started at $2500, but was lowered to $2000 after a while, since it wasn't selling. They also told us that the knobs were not original.
In any event, we have no intention of selling it. I have a small collection of guitars, and this one is now the best one.
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Date: 2013-09-05 04:07 pm (UTC)Enjoy playing it. I'd love to have the opportunity to play it! It's a beautiful instrument.
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Date: 2013-09-04 03:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-09-04 08:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-09-04 10:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-09-04 10:26 pm (UTC)You're doing a great job with all of this. Really.
I'm glad you have an adventure coming up this weekend. It will be good to get a change of scenery and think about other things for a few days.
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Date: 2013-09-04 10:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-09-04 10:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-09-05 11:23 am (UTC)PS: That is a beautiful guitar!