don't stop, don't ever stop

[threeplusfire]

My goals for the gym this year were as follows:
- lose ten pounds
- be able to do a mile in 15 minutes or less, the bare minimum required to pass middle school gym class in Texas

I have done both those things as of today. I actually discovered Saturday night I've lost enough weight that I need to wear a belt with my favorite summer jeans or they start sliding down with enough dancing. Good thing I still had some belly fat to keep them up on the dance floor. Still fat, but less fat. So that's cool.

In a fit of complete fucking madness, I hit the 32 minute mark in my loping cardio run at the gym this morning and decided to see if I could run for at least 50 minutes. That turned into an hour. Y'all, I ran for AN HOUR without stopping. I ran slowly, in the air conditioning of the gym. (Because I'm not crazy like some of my friends who run outside in Texas in the summer!) But I did it. I fucking did that thing and I feel a little giddy about this. I did this thing after my half mile warm up walk/stretch and my thirty minutes of lifting weights even! Then I did my crunches even though I just wanted to sprawl on the mat like a boneless sea creature.

The idea that I would ever do anything like this is pretty crazy. I've spent the majority of my life actively hating my body and pretending I had no connection to it. When it doesn't match at all what's in your head and your soul, when everyone sees you as something you are not - of course you don't want anything to do with it. But getting the mastectomy and making steps on this slow transition to being the guy I have always known I was - it feels so fucking good I could cry.

I have to credit kylecassidy with being one of the inspirations to exercise more. He writes about his own path to feeling more comfortable in his skin with a humor and gentleness and about running crazy distances in costumes and stuff. That dude runs OUTSIDE, which is crazy.

Also credit to my friends, especially my friends here. Because you were the first people I came out to, four years ago. Because you have supported me and left comments and shared your lives and been good to me all these years, through all these things. I love you guys so fucking much, you know.

Music to run by:
Evasion - Hat Films
Stalker (Club Mix) - Covenant
First Time - Rotersand
Baby's On Fire - Die Antwoord
Don't Stop - The Crystal Method
What Does The Fox Say? - Ylvis
Cold Dead Hands - Combichrist
Hallo Spaceboy - David Bowie
Hard Rock Hallelujah - Lordi
Into The Night - Mind.In.A.Box
Over And Out - Assemblage 23
Night Terror - Mr. Kitty
I Want Your Blood - Combichrist

Comments

[passionnante.livejournal.com]

I came back to LJ at the right time. It seems taking care of the body/mind balance is a common thread amongst those I am reading. Nothing like reading other people's journey's to feel inspired. An hour is amazing, no matter what the pace! I did half an hour of minute run/minute walk today and felt pretty chuffed. Quite a way to go before I am running an hour.

[tsarina.livejournal.com]

That's interesting - have we all grown to the point where we're collectively realizing that it helps to find some kind of balance?

I'm terribly reliant on my tiny sansa mp3 player to keep me going. I don't think I could do it without a soundtrack.