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At Mass this morning, they handed out paper stars to every family, and Father Ralph asked us all to write a prayer for our family, for the church and for everyone. While I wrote, I noticed that I was crying, and it was hard to stop. When we said the Creed I could barely speak.
What I wrote, as best I remember:
Lord, help us remember the love you give, and the love we share in this life. Be with us in the connections in our family, ever outwards into the world. Amen.
After Mass I visited my family, ate breakfast with them. I couldn't tell them what I had heard today, they aren't very pleased with my decision to be a Catholic. I just tried to be there, to let them know I loved them. It's easier with my father, but my mother... sometimes it seems she will just never forgive me. We both made some awful mistakes, and it's never been the same. Sometimes all I want is my mom back, I want her to say she is proud of me and that she didn't mean the angry things she said when I was in the hospital.
I envy people like Hana and Melynda, people who have these amazing close families. I want to be a mom like Hana one day, and I want a family that holds on together. I want to be able to talk with my children, I want to have the patience and understanding. I want an awful lot of things, but that one most of all.
What I wrote, as best I remember:
Lord, help us remember the love you give, and the love we share in this life. Be with us in the connections in our family, ever outwards into the world. Amen.
After Mass I visited my family, ate breakfast with them. I couldn't tell them what I had heard today, they aren't very pleased with my decision to be a Catholic. I just tried to be there, to let them know I loved them. It's easier with my father, but my mother... sometimes it seems she will just never forgive me. We both made some awful mistakes, and it's never been the same. Sometimes all I want is my mom back, I want her to say she is proud of me and that she didn't mean the angry things she said when I was in the hospital.
I envy people like Hana and Melynda, people who have these amazing close families. I want to be a mom like Hana one day, and I want a family that holds on together. I want to be able to talk with my children, I want to have the patience and understanding. I want an awful lot of things, but that one most of all.
