(no subject)

The sunlight shines between the rain and clouds, and sometimes when I breathe in I remember how happy I have been at times, standing on this porch.

I wish I had something to do, somewhere to go, someone to talk to. I'm lost, just standing here.

Maybe I should just get in the car and drive.

back home

Drove for hours, just watching the road until I didn't know where I was anymore. Stereo up, the sound loud in my little car. My throat still hurts and I don't have the breath to scream. I wanted to scream, I wanted a cigarette, I just wanted out of my head.

I am thinking too much. Thinking about things that I just can't resolve. There are too many things I need to take care of. I have to hope the company continues to exist in some form. All the paperwork has to be done for the trip to Prague, I've got to figure out the apartment situation, renew my passport and buy a plane ticket. An entire semester to get through as well, with all the same bills to pay. I know I know, material worries, etc. This is the part I don't like about being an adult. Too many irritating worries.

I'm going to go sit in the bath and read books until I fall asleep.