Mar. 11th, 2001

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LITHUANIA: INDEPENDENCE RESTITUTION DAY

This national holiday in Lithuania commemorates the country's
achieving its independence from the Soviet Union in 1990.
Lithuania initially declared its independence in 1918 but lost it
when the Soviet Union began an occupation of the nation in 1940.
With the dissolution of the Soviet Union, Lithuania was able to
proclaim the restoration of its statehood.

A short history of Lithuania is here.
Lithuania lies in Eastern Europe on the coast of the Baltic Sea.
Find out more at Lithuanian American and from the CIA Factbook.
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One very long bus ride later and I am home. I've decided that Patrick was quite apt in describing the places as depressing versions of airports. You could see the obvious attempt on Greyhound's part to make it seem that way, calling the doors 'gates' and all that. I think though, the people in airports seem happier about their trip or their destination. Maybe it has a lot to do with socio-economic factors. Stopping in little towns, in tiny bus stations, was the most surreal part. It was exactly like every strange American novel description. The whole experience made me so sad. At least the bus station in Austin isn't in such a dismal part of town.

I keep seeing so many people writing about suicide recently. Suicide on your own and suicide by cop. The uneasy feeling in my mind when I ask myself, "Why were you so afraid of being shot last night? You nearly killed yourself. Why do you worry about other people this way?" I don't know.

Time to go see my kitties, and play with the new puppy. Maybe my dad will come home today. There are moments when I wish I could just wake up and everything would magically be alright. I know that won't happen, and part of me feels bad for wishing for it in the first place.
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An interesting article about the language and cultural conflict ongoing in Latvia, between Russian and Latvian.

"Latvia's leaders are caught between conflicting impulses: They desperately want to be part of the West, with the security of the NATO alliance and the economic benefits of European Union membership. But they can't quite bring themselves to grant all the freedoms to Russians that international conventions on minority rights and Western traditions of free speech demand. They are fearful that unless the Russians are kept in check, Latvia's language and culture will not recover from Soviet efforts to wipe them out." --Washington Post article, March 10, 2001
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Something is wrong with my car, though I'm not exactly sure what it is yet. Involves the engine and that is never good. Everything breaks at the same time.

This awful feeling of depression. I don't know what to do. Nothing I can fix. Nothing I can pretend to be. Just want to hide, but staying here only makes me restless and leads to panic attacks. Too frightened to go to sleep. Make it stop.

I've been saying I don't know a lot.

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