sleeping on the tile

The only real sleep I managed last night was about 5 hours on the bathroom floor. I don't know why the tile was more restful than my bed or the couch, but it worked. Perhaps it was the slight humidity from the shower, or the total darkness.

Nice that no one is around, I can lay here on the couch and eat sherbet and not be disturbed by anything. I think I'll do that until I have to go to the doctor's office. Must get better so I can get out of the house and have some coffee.

It's Elvis Presley Day. I think I'll celebrate by making biscuits.

it's raining in my house, yeah it's raining

Yesterday after my interview I found the first Sponge album, something I listened to a lot when I was fourteen, fifteen. James and I even saw them in concert, and it was such a great show. I miss Liberty Lunch so badly.

miles to go before I sleep
miles to go before I sleep
miles to go to fall in deep
this is the way it has to be

I listened to this in the car on the way back from Ren-fest, the year Richard rented that enormous van and we all went together. I still have my flower crown, black and white roses and ribbons with bells. I remember laying in the back, the dark blue sky at midnight, the full moon so bright we could have driven without headlights.

We were never afraid together. How many times did we get kicked out of the mall? The time Josh threw that plastic coke bottle out of the truck and it hit that guy's windshield? Those weird women Richard would go out with? How my hair would get so tangled riding in the back of the truck, and Mike lost a hat? "Plowed" was the big radio single that summer for them, and we heard in the car, and we would sing along. James and I sang a lot around each other.

say a prayer for me
I'm buried by the sound
of a world of human wrekcage
in a world of human wreckage
Well I'm lost and I'm found
and I can't touch the ground
I'm plowed into the sound
will I wake up
some dream I made up
no I guess it's reality

It's hard to understand that it's been seven years since this cd came out, seven years since I was that girl in that world and everything was something else entirely. Back when I was still dreaming of Stanford and newspapers and rock stars boys. Back when I was trying to pull away from her, trying to leave my girlfriend and winding up beside her bed time and time again.

It's one of the few parts of my life I would ever consider going back to, should I ever find a magic lantern. Despite everything that happened in my teenage years, there was something in my friendship with James and all the time we spent together that made me happy. Turning up the stereo and jumping around the apartment, cleaning, redecorating, singing, making breakfast tacos or chicken, playing gin, drinking Dr Pepper and Mountain Dew, swimming, talking about girls, being kids and adults at the same time. Worth all the annoyances of high school and growing up to have that friendship at that time, worth it for those moments.

I wish I loved you
Don't ask why
Sixteen candles down the drain

James I have the stereo up and I can hear you singing in my head. (Remember when you practiced screaming?) I'm glad I have this cd again. (What's this last track, hidden down here? I don't remember this...)

best friends
that's what we used to say

(no subject)

Hung out for awhile with Mr Fox and had a long rambling conversation. I get the scoop about the secret inner workings of Half Price Books from him, so I seem most informed at my interviews. We grumped about our least liked activist organizations, and the foolish things they do.

Later I ran into Clockwork, of State of unBeing. A friendly, wonderful gent. We talked for a little while about Prague and Florida and scary tourists before I left him to his studies.

Thanks to the patience of my doctor, who saw me on quite short notice, I have some antibiotics and super strength cough syrup. Soon I will stop hacking like a tuberculosis patient in a Russian prison. Tuberculosis is quite bad in Russia, from what little I've read. The nasty thing about it is that if you don't complete the treatment, or do it halfway, it often becomes resistant to the drugs, and mutates. The CDC speculates that thousands of mutations could exist. All it takes is one person on a trans-Atlantic flight and 72 hours to spread it globally.