(no subject)

Went from depression to calm to cheerfulness between 8pm and 1am last night/this morning. Then I came home and the cat tried to kill my houseplant. I heard a tremdnous crash, and first thought someone was trying to bust in a window or something. Ran into my room and found several things from my shelf of Prague souvenirs on the floor and dirt everywhere. On the floor, my stuff, the bed. My poor tiny hibiscus plant chewed on in the middle.

Damn it I just want a plant! The cat already killed my airplane plant by chewing it to death. I have to make sure my door is completely shut every time I go in or out of my room because the cat will come in and start attacking the plant.

So at 2am I'm crying and trying to vacuum and wondering if I'm losing my sanity.

I hate this.

Overslept this morning. Right now I should be buying textbooks but I forgot to set my alarm before I crawled into bed and now it just all feels bad. I wish I could call in sick but that wouldn't be good form and it's too late in the day for that now.

damn damn damn

It only gets worse.

Looking for something to wear today in my closet and I discovered why the cat was sitting on my shelf when I found her last night.

She broke my bottle of riesling from the Moravian winery.

My only bottle of white wine I brought home from Moravia, the bottle I was saving for next May for my birthday and my graduation, the bottle I carried for weeks and worried over, the bottle that made it across the ocean.

The bottle that can not be replaced.

I cried for almost an hour. It got so bad that I had to call my mom during her lunch break so she could help me calm down. I've felt horrible all through my shift, with this awful headache.

It's stupid to be so upset over a bottle of wine. It's just a thing after all. A thing, I've been telling myself all day. An irreplaceable souvenir of the happiest summer of my life.

Even hours later, I still tear up when I think about it. I don't even want to try to clean all the broken glass and figure out what has been soaked in wine. It's a mess in there.

I don't know why it didn't click last night that the spilled plant couldn't have made that breaking glass sound.

Today was my day of rude customers. The woman-hating gay man who couldn't even bring himself to say a word to me when I asked if he wanted a bag for his items, the haughty woman with a diamond as big as my fingernail, the couple with a small whining child who would not leave the store at closing. Bah. Add messy sections and tons of new stuff to shelve, and it turned into quite a stressful day.

It won't stop hurting and I wish I could just forget everything that happened last night.